Reviews

Kai Temple is an extremely bad rip-off of Shao-Lin's Road.

I feel that even the £1.99 budget price tag is asking a little much to be honest. Gone are any of the features that made the source material a decent arcade action game, and in it's place a poor game, and an equally bad plot.

The game says it has 2 types of enemies, the Divas who can only be dispatched by throwing one of your daggers at them, and the ninjas, who have to be kicked, the instructions state that this must be timed perfectly. They're not wrong either, I'm assuming this was the authors way of covering up the awful collision detection with the write up for the game, because it has to be just in the right spot or it falls short or goes through the ninjas. The daggers which you kill the divas with appear in front of you and slowly chug across the screen at an extremely unrealistic, and uninspiring pace.

The game moves extremely slowly, and your character looks like a caveman, the Ninjas look like fat children, who just want some cake, and the Divas are indescribably crap looking.

Also look out for the flying swords, which look like arrows, and apparently the strange effects the thin mountain air may have on you. This is basically the screen cocktail flipping at random, and this can literally happen seconds after you start. It adds nothing to the gameplay, infact if anything it potentially removes fun from the game. I say potentially because I'm not 100% sure if there's any there regardless?

The graphics are crude, and the actual screen set up looks simplistic and unfinished.

There is a brutal time limit on some of the levels and little margin for error, if you get hit the enemies respawn, but the timer is not reset. If the timer runs out it's game over as well regardless of how many of your 4 hits you have remaining....Challenging? Or terrible design? I'll let you guys decide?

Shao-Lin's Road had boss characters at the end of 2 phases of each stage. This game has 3 phases per stage, and the final one is a pathetic mini game where you have to charge up an energy bar before jumping from the top of the screen onto a see-saw with a boulder or giant iron ball on it. This is in the hope that you can catapult it Wile E Coyote style to the top of the screen to ring a bell. Ringing the bell finishes the level.

The problems I have with this are.... 1 it's total shit! 2 it serves no purpose other than to annoy you! 3 not once is it referenced in the instructions or ingame that you have to hammer the fire button like a lunatic to build up the power bar! 4 It's so relentlessly demanding to the point where you need to throw a disc in your neck out to achieve it! 5 Regardless of how well you do it takes about 3 minutes for you to build up power, then watch the agonizingly slow decent of your fat retard as he floats down to the see saw, only to knock the ball half way up the screen, and for you to be returned to the 3rd phase of the level you were just on. Also you're standing right next to the bell why not just fucking ring it yourself?

This game is absolutely diabolical...

by Ian Wright, Philip Greenwood [1], Simon Clarke

A headache inducing beat'em up whose characterizing feature is that the screen upside down from time to time turn, almost completely disorienting you. Anyway, it's a scarcely playable poor man's Shao-Lin's Road. Pity on the man who plays it, in fact.
2/5

People compare this to Shao Lin's Road and they have a point, they also say that this is bad and again they have a point, a very valid point actually because this is pretty bad. The fighting is bad because of the questionable hit detection and the daggers are slow and don't even work. The graphics are bad because as stated in a previous review the ninjas look like fat ninjas, again point taken. And why the bloody hell does the screen turn upside down at times? Is it a bug? Is it actually programmed? If so, why?! It's so needless. For games of this kind I feel Oriental Hero is a worse game but this is still pretty bad and deserves to be hated.