HARD FACTS SPECIAL

Are you having a hard time choosing the right hardware? Hard but Steve Adams has the lowdown on the latest hardware. And it's all under £100.

Euromax Electronics Ltd
£19.95

The latest addition to Euromax's range is what's called a 'premium joystick'. Or in other words, it's expensive. But if you're in the money and can afford to splash out £20 on a joystick, then the Professional Autofire is a worthwhile purchase. Sturdy yet manoeuverable, it's very sensitive and handles well. It comes with an auto-fire button that may well prove invaluable when you're battling your way through the latest shoot 'em up.

ONE JOYSTICK'S THE SAME AS ANOTHER ISN'T IT? NO. WHY? BECAUSE GRAHAM TAYLOR SAYS THAT'S THE WAY IT IS!

Well you just yank it don' you, I mean sometimes you stab it wiv your fumb as well but das about it reely. Is there such a thing as a cool joystick? What particular piece of plastic will most perfectly set off your Georgio Armani lime green California casuals. If Crockett and Tubbs bust aliens instead of cars what would be the piece of plastic for them?

When it comes to joysticks there are as many opinions as there are frazzled aliens. Ain't nobody gonna be damn fool enough to pretend that it's possible to do some sort of definitive/objective analysis. So what we have here is a mixture of fact and faction. Actually reading between the lines will probably reveal some deep-seated and dodgy details about the reviewer.

THE RATING SYSTEM

KILL FACTOR: A general purpose term implying how responsive the joystick is to your slightest movement. Responsive equals alien deaths.

DEFENSIVE SYSTEMS: Can the thing take the strain? Is it going to fall apart in five minutes if the going gets rough?

LOOKS CAM KILL: Is it stylish? Is it easy to grip? If it were a car would it be Ferrari Daytona or a dumper truck? This section is almost totally biased.

OVERALL COOL: The lot totalled up, fiddled with, adjusted and generally mutated to give a definitive overall impression of the total joystick concept.

AUTOFIRE PROFESSIONAL

Conventional design apart from the square fire buttons. Microswitches and autofire.

KILL FACTOR
Uses microswitches (basically an on off mechanism rather than metal leaves, the former is generally best) and responds very quickly. The same is true of the two fire buttons which click audibly but work well. Using the autofire gives you a fast stream of bullets although for some reason there are occasional hiccups when it stops for a couple of seconds.

DEFENSIVE SYSTEMS
Described as 'professional' the stick is built to last. The loud click on the switch mechanisms reassures - this one should last a good long while even if you play Lightforce all day long.

LOOKS CAN KILL
Ugh! Black is OK, but yellow for the fire buttons. Why yellow? Overall appearance is fairly conventional and so won't as such lose you much credibility. One big problem - those fire buttons. Here's a simple rule, base-mounted fire buttons are always a mistake and are always very tiring. That's true here.

OVERALL COOL
Reliable, responsive but not easy to use and those fire buttons lose it serious points.

PRICE: £19.95