Zeppelin Games
£2.99

This is one of the most basic beat-'em-up clones I've played! OK... There are two backgrounds and a selection of opponents to play against, each with their own strengths and weaknesses. Graphics are very neat and the backgrounds are colourful, but then there aren't many games with bad graphics these days. The inlay tells you all the moves available, but take it from me, if you just stand in one place and constantly do a high face kick the game is easily completed! Kick Box Vigilante has nothing new or exciting to offer - it's just a cheap alternative to the full price originals.

BARGAIN BASEMENT

It's damp and it's dark
But it's always quite merry
When you're locked down the cellar
With PILLAR & PELLEY!

Zeppelin
£2.99
Reviewer: Rich Pelley

"Oh dear." I'm afraid that's all I have to say about this one. See you next month... (Oi, come back. Ed) Okay, it's a straight hand-to-hand beat-'em-up, like Way Of The Exploding Fist, International Karate, Yie Ar Kung Fu, Barbarian and absolutely countless others And that's the main problem - it is exactly like countless others, offering nothing new to add to the world of the beat-'em-up at all.

8 or so move are available, merely punches kicks and a headbutt (ie nothing interesting), but I found that it didn't really matter which ones you used (although you do have to be a bit picky if you want your opponent to be injured in any serious way). Talking of baddies - there are 4, each with different skills (apparently), and the last 2 are armed with a whip and knife respectively. Each one has to be fought twice without replenishing your energy in between (tricky!). One rather strange point which you may like to know is that despite the fact that I practised for absolutely ages, I didn't get any better and couldn't get any further into the game than when I started - which either goes to show that there's something decisively weird about me, or perhaps the game as a whole.

And that's about the size of it, really. Admittedly, some simple and almost old-fashioned games are cheap and refreshing compared with the complicated multiload full-pricers of today (of which of course the Zep's F1 Tornado is a prime example), but sadly, not this. It's boring, repetitive, unoriginal and really is a complete load of, to coin a phrase, crap.