Pubs in ZX Spectrum games

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PeteProdge
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Pubs in ZX Spectrum games

Post by PeteProdge » Sun Jun 16, 2019 8:34 pm

If you were including ZX Spectrum pubs in The Good Pub Guide, what reviews would you give them? Here's a couple I came up with (back in 2014 on That Other ZX Spectrum Forum)...

The pub, 180
Well stocked with spirits, yet has only one beer pump. The barmaid has lightning-fast skills in sliding full pints down the bar to punters, without spilling a drop.
The pub's main income must surely derive from the popular leisure facilities, of which darts is a major focus. Regulars Desmond, Sidney, Dave, Larry, Bill, Mick, Tel and Jim take part in tournaments, all attired in the same clothing.
Unfortunately, dogs are allowed and the bar is occasionally home to a rather badly behaved spaniel who takes delight in marking his territory. Clearly, hygiene is not a priority in this otherwise commendable pub.

The Ship, Target: Renegade
Located in an unsavoury part of town, with baseball-capped youths and feral pitbulls running amock, this review took place under extreme duress.
Upon opening the big scarlet door to enter The Ship (and I wonder if that's the same pub name-checked in Underworld's 1996 opus, Born Slippy) I was confronted by an aggressive middle-aged skinhead. I'm not the fighting type, but he clearly wanted a ruckus and, in self-defence, I managed to lay him out cold.
Of course my main priority is to review this pub and not to dwell on the considerable social disorder. The interior is very spacious, decked with green carpet and a 1950s-style jukebox. A huge framed platinum disk sits on the wall, so one must assume the landlord may have been in the record industry at some point, maybe even a singer. Unfortunately I did not get to see the details close up, as I was accosted by several other violent skinheads, some of whom were wielding pool cues.
The pub is heavily stocked with spirits of various types. Pumps are nowhere to be seen, although one presumes hard liquor is the drink of choice among regulars here. Not wishing to cast aspersions, but drink-fuelled mayhem seems to be the order of the day here. This really isn't the place for a sociology lecture, but inner city deprivation appears to play a part.
After tackling the folically-challenged regulars, I retired to the Games Room. A nicely furnished area, with a couple of pool tables and a dartboard. Bizarrely, some novelty version of pool is preferred here, with many balls being green. The jukebox here is a CD multi-changer, a nod to a more modern age.
Sadly, my time here was cut short as I was repeatedly headbutted by a muscular fellow who appears to be a well-feared character. I was taken to A&E and am still in recovery after this fateful visit.
In conclusion, I can say that the venue itself is very roomy and entertainment is fairly well catered for, but I cannot ignore the anti-social violence that was dished out to me on my visit. For this reason, I warn you to steer clear.

Now it's your turn...
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Juan F. Ramirez
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Re: Pubs in ZX Spectrum games

Post by Juan F. Ramirez » Sun Jun 16, 2019 8:55 pm

Tapper, the Pub

We have definitely here a case of labour exploitation of the staff who works in this pub. In fact, only one barman must serve and pick up the beer jars the people demand.

After many union claims, the labour authority will open an inquiry.

Sometimes, the barman often suffers humiliations for the clients, as shown below.

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Besides, the only cola drink they serve is Pepsi. Tsk, tsk!

In the positive side, the pub offers a wide variety of craft beers. Recommended. It's got a Tripadvisor seal of quality.
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Re: Pubs in ZX Spectrum games

Post by Ivanzx » Mon Jun 17, 2019 7:04 am

Pub Games, anybody? :P
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Re: Pubs in ZX Spectrum games

Post by Daren » Mon Jun 17, 2019 7:07 am

The Red Lion, Everyone's A Wally

Devoid of humans, and haunted by lethal tankards which slide up and down the bar. Avoid at all costs!

TripAdvisor Rating: 2

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Juan F. Ramirez
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Re: Pubs in ZX Spectrum games

Post by Juan F. Ramirez » Wed Jun 19, 2019 11:32 am

Dorry's Tavern. Kingston Falls, CA

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Beyond this discreet facade, this tavern include a very interesting selection of craft beers. The staff is nice and professional (the viewing of the film Coyote Ugly is obligatory by the staff before the contract). It got three Beer Connoisseur magazine awards and a Tripadvisor seal of quality.

But the problem is the clientele. Certain weird urban tribe frequents this tavern: Violent, hoolingans, even exhibitionists make the tavern impossible to visit after midnight.

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The cause is they're the kind of people that shouldn't be watered after that time (12:00 p.m.) but they did. A waiter once had the stupid idea of watering the crowd with a hose while crying 'PAAAARTY, YEAAAH!!!' and people started to erm... became different.

Obviously the waiter was fired.

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So the best time to visit the tavern is midday, definitely.
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Re: Pubs in ZX Spectrum games

Post by Juan F. Ramirez » Fri Jun 21, 2019 11:29 am

Le Café du Trashonnaire
48 rue de Travelier, Champs Elysee, Paris (pronnounced /Pa-guee/)

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There's a pavement cafe in the Champs Elysee, in Paris (pronnounced /Pa-guee/), France, a lovely place to enjoy a good croissant avec fromage et jambon with a café au lait while watching the amazing view of the city of light.

The Café has a big menu with a lot of french delicatessen, but I was surprised when I read that that day's special was grilled frogs. 'Bleeeurgh!!!' I said,' I chose the worst day to visit the café!' (and it reminded me of my last travel to Spain, where people enjoy eating snails -again 'Bleeeurgh!!!'-, but I'll tell you this in a future review).

The place consists of a big terrace with tables and colourful umbrellas. By the time I was writing this review the Café was absolutely crowded. And everyone chose frogs to eat. Lovely waitresses serving that abomination from here to there. And then I noticed a young man (I knew later that was a british guy) whose job was to catch alive frogs that escaped from the kitchen. Dozens of frogs eveywhere. And the poor guy chasing them and trying to catch them whilst avoiding the waitresses. He seemed he was under stress. I even thought he was a mentally disturbed person just escaped from a mental hospital.

At certain moment I asked him for his job and he told me that he had worked as a trashman in a little town in the UK. He was so efficient that he was awarded a Diploma of Trashmanship, which entitled him to go forth and rid the world of trash. "A mentally disturbed guy, as I've just suspected", I said to me. He also told me that he was been working in Paris for only a week. The week before he worked in Madrid, Spain, and his work was in a bullfighting ring, picking up roses the people throwed to the bullfighter while avoiding a bull. And the next week he was travelling to München, Germany, where he had to clear away the empty beer jars in the Oktoberfest. He went on telling me about Hong Kong, USA,... and suddenly the Chef cried to him 'stop speaking, the forgs are escaping!!!'.

I finished my croissant avec fromage et jambon and my café au lait, paid the bill and went down the streets thinking about that poor guy.

Back to the review, If there weren't frogs in the menu, I'd give 5/5 to this Café, but the frogs and the labour conditions reduce the score to 1/5.
Last edited by Juan F. Ramirez on Fri Jun 21, 2019 11:33 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Vampyre
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Re: Pubs in ZX Spectrum games

Post by Vampyre » Fri Jun 21, 2019 11:32 am

I've never actually played these but presumably:

Pi-Eyed
Andy Capp

I think the object of both of those games was to get bladdered...
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Re: Pubs in ZX Spectrum games

Post by druellan » Fri Jun 21, 2019 1:02 pm

Mugsy's bar scene.

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Loved those small animated sequences back in the day, even when you must watch them a hundred of times.
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zxbruno
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Re: Pubs in ZX Spectrum games

Post by zxbruno » Fri Jun 21, 2019 3:16 pm

Don't know if it fits the theme. The bar in Paradise Cafe? Can't think of words for a review though.
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Re: Pubs in ZX Spectrum games

Post by Morkin » Fri Jun 21, 2019 5:55 pm

Trashman

Lansdown Road.

The pub's name is in doubt as the sign seems to have been vandalised. Perhaps it's this one.

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Bob Wurzle the landlord:

"...Now I've always said workin' men are welcome 'ere, we get a few posties poppin' in for a pint of Smiles or two after their shift. But this fella, he's bangin' on the door demandin' we open early, says he's on the clock and not got the time to wait aroun'.

Well, no sooner have I lets 'im in, he downs two Holsten Pills, a Babycham and seven shots of Pernod, and he's reelin' around everywhere. Naturally I ask 'im to leave and he starts getting all shirty, stumbles out the door and starts tramplin' all over me newly mowed lawn. Worse 'n that even, he trips over poor little Molly, sleepin' outside, the most gentle pub dog you could find, she barks at 'im and he turns round and bites 'er leg... So now I've gotta take 'er to the vets for a rabies shot..."
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