Loading screens that are a bit rubbish

[Morkin]

...First of all, I'm going to preface this post by stating

"No, I probably wouldn't be able to do much better myself"

...mainly to avoid offending artists that might be here, and also because I'm not particularly good at any art, let alone retro-themed art. But I'm sure there have been a few faintly amusing loading screens out there that I think deserve a bit of recognition...

Here are a couple of the Speccy's many tennis games, which seem to struggle to capture the form and movement of our beloved tennis athletes:





Any others?

[8BitAG]

I had no idea that there was a licensed Phil Tufnall tennis game.

[akeley]

These really are totally ridiculous amazing. Especially #2 Although the Team Blue dude is cheerfully flipping us all off, so that's quite something too.

The wonky emulator/TFT filter does not help, of course, but in these cases even a hefty dose of scanlines wouldn't make much difference.

I've been on a tape loading kick recently, so have seen a lot of loading screens. Most of them were either very good though, or at least not as silly as these two. Will be on alert for some more examples now.

[Juan F. Ramirez]

Cage Match, it's about an alien dancing with semi-naked girls:



Feud: long live rock'n'roll!

[zxbruno]

[Ralf]

Look on the wheel


The guy face was probably drawn black on white but due to design change it became inverted:


Not funny, just lame for such a famous game:

[Juan F. Ramirez]

That wheel in Stagecoach defies physics laws!

[R-Tape]

The guy face was probably drawn black on white but due to design change it became inverted:

Aye it would need a bit of tinkering, but the face does look more sensible with INK darker than PAPER.


And inversion works even better for the game sprites (this time INK brighter than PAPER) new on top, old on bottom:

[R-Tape]

Zombie Zombie, definitely a bit rubbish (sorry Angela).

[R-Tape]

And the screens for Ocean's Armageddon, Digger Dan and Kong could have been a bit more imaginative.



What is it anyway? The fens? A disused airfield?!

[Ralf]

Not so badly drawn but the guy is just ugly:


Is he running or kneeing?


A bit cheap, probably made in 30 minutes

[RWAC]

I love it! It looks like he's playing Twister!

[uglifruit]

I fine there's something quite appealing about the flat colours of the Zombie Zombie one. It's certainly not in the same league as the Tennis one for me.

[redballoon]

And the screens for Ocean's Armageddon, Digger Dan and Kong could have been a bit more imaginative.



What is it anyway? The fens? A disused airfield?!

I’ve been seriously thinking of getting a high quality print or even doing an actual painting of the early Ocean loading screens like this for my wall. I don’t know why, but I genuinely loved this screen for years!

[Ralf]

The logo is ok but the group of people below look like a vomit. Colourful doesn't always mean good on Speccy:

[akeley]

I second Zombie Zombie being actually quite great (in a good way). Ditto Abracadabra.

I also like Armageddon and Chronos, simple does not (always) mean rubbish.

[RWAC]

And the screens for Ocean's Armageddon, Digger Dan and Kong could have been a bit more imaginative.



What is it anyway? The fens? A disused airfield?!

It's quite clearly a sat nav image.

"Take the first turning towards Armageddon, in 100 yards you have reached your final destination."

[MatGubbins]

Zombie Zombie, definitely a bit rubbish (sorry Angela).

Always liked this loading screen and the game too!

[Juan F. Ramirez]

One of the most popular videogames ever deserves a better screen:


The adventures of a monkey rally driver:


E-Swat: What the hell is going on?


NATO assault course: terrible vampyre/zombie soldiers in fight for freedom!

[Ralf]

Nothing to be proud of.
When Manic Miner made this trick of displaying two flashing texts it was new and original. But any later screen doing it is nothing interesting


Oh my, where to start... What's this black thing on the left, an astronaut climbing a rock?

[8BitAG]

Oh my, where to start... What's this black thing on the left, an astronaut climbing a rock?

Exactly what it looks like... it's an old-fashioned iron.

[R-Tape]

Exactly what it looks like... it's an old-fashioned iron.

Nonsense! It's obviously a toad riding a flying mussel.

[andydansby]

Exactly what it looks like... it's an old-fashioned iron.

Nonsense! It's obviously a toad riding a flying mussel.

Don't be silly, It's a miniature "Star Destroyer", obviously, there is a Star Wars mini game to be found somewhere on the B side of the cassette.
Andy

[andydansby]

I love it! It looks like he's playing Twister!

Gymnastics with a paddle?

[Juan F. Ramirez]

[...] It's a miniature "Star Destroyer"[...]
Andy

Another vote for the Star Destroyer here. That's what I thought of when I saw it.