Argh! Sentences like that make my head fall apart! As I say, I'm sure we never did this at school. Bristol University has a good guide, although it does contain sentences redolent of the above.
When not used in a complicated list*, it seems that the semicolon is basically a weak full stop masquerading as a strong comma. I keep seeing opportunities to use it, but it's usually an option, and you risk looking like a smartarse if you so choose to take it—it's a nightmare!
*Baby Spice: cutesy, pigtailed and blatantly a Tasmanian devil between the sheets; Sporty Spice: tracksuits, twokking and elecution; Posh Spice: budgie breeder, businesswoman and footballer's wife; Scary Spice: terrifying 'Bo Selecta' deathmask, giant hair and creator of Kat Trap; Ginger Spice: intergalactic peace envoy, yogic flyer and former Club International model.MatGubbins wrote: ↑Mon Sep 24, 2018 7:33 pm Baby, Sporty, Posh, Scary and Ginger... I don't recall a butt-spice.
Butt-spice is professional cyclists' slang for a caffeine suppository.
The above may be peppered with mendacity, but it's helping me learn to use the semicolon.