Many years ago, on the other site, there was a fun thread of replaying all the games in order of review from the first copy of Crash. I thought Id do the same and bore you all with my thoughts. First up is :
Deathchase
It’s a surprise that the first game reviewed is the very familiar and comfortable Deathchase (or 3D Deathchase according to the review). It’s the first review, and the first Crash Smash at 92%. I couldn’t figure the controls at first, then looking at the review, they are listed in the ‘Keyboard positions’ section. 1 for left, 0 for right, bottom row for fire. That’s almost an anti-piracy measure. In the days before keys were generally re-definable, if you had somehow misplaced the instructions on the cassette inlay, Crash would help you out. I’d have never master Elite without it.
Having not played it for years, I get to day 6 without losing a life. Fun was had. The Crash review is spot on, commenting on the frantic action. For a 16K game, essentially a very one trick pony (And one screen. It doesn’t even have a splash screen or high score table) it gives a very generous 98% at a price of £6.95.
Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
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bluespikey
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
I get that it's impressive for the time but I've never enjoyed 3D Deathchase.
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bluespikey
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
ODYSSEY 1
Now this is the dumpster diving I came for. Never played it, never heard of it. A long pause to begin suggests compiled basic. Again the Crash review comes to my aid by telling me the controls without having to read the instructions. Caps left, Z right, H thrust, top row to shoot. It will be a while before QAOPM is invented. The first level is a simple UDG shooter but you are given a pleasing amount of superior fire power (They must have forgotten the one shot limit). A fairly easy Robotron-like, as Crash mentions.
The second level is more challenging. Its like an up-tempo CSSCG entry. Baddy ships fly across the screen in line, and your centipede-like craft loiters at the bottom to shoot them. But this game has a big catch that when a baddy dies, it immediately falls as a bomb, and the bomb then loops round indefinitely. So you rapidly end with many bombs falling to keep away from, and you need to dash to the side when you hit something. The game can also spawn you directly underneath one of these bombs. Its actually more stressful than Deathchase and results in many sprites moving on screen with no slowdown. The basic compiler was worth its salt.
Theres a third level apparently which I couldn’t get to. The Crash review demures with ‘Stage three has pterodactyls – but we wont’ spoil your fun and tell you about them’. So I suspect Crash never managed to get that far either.
Generally positive comments from Crash, commenting on the use of colour. The authors certainly made use of computer with the palette despite a UoC value of 63%.
Now this is the dumpster diving I came for. Never played it, never heard of it. A long pause to begin suggests compiled basic. Again the Crash review comes to my aid by telling me the controls without having to read the instructions. Caps left, Z right, H thrust, top row to shoot. It will be a while before QAOPM is invented. The first level is a simple UDG shooter but you are given a pleasing amount of superior fire power (They must have forgotten the one shot limit). A fairly easy Robotron-like, as Crash mentions.
The second level is more challenging. Its like an up-tempo CSSCG entry. Baddy ships fly across the screen in line, and your centipede-like craft loiters at the bottom to shoot them. But this game has a big catch that when a baddy dies, it immediately falls as a bomb, and the bomb then loops round indefinitely. So you rapidly end with many bombs falling to keep away from, and you need to dash to the side when you hit something. The game can also spawn you directly underneath one of these bombs. Its actually more stressful than Deathchase and results in many sprites moving on screen with no slowdown. The basic compiler was worth its salt.
Theres a third level apparently which I couldn’t get to. The Crash review demures with ‘Stage three has pterodactyls – but we wont’ spoil your fun and tell you about them’. So I suspect Crash never managed to get that far either.
Generally positive comments from Crash, commenting on the use of colour. The authors certainly made use of computer with the palette despite a UoC value of 63%.
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just80sstuff
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
I bought a bundle of early Sinclair User mags a few months ago and I've been doing the same with them. Best bit is they cover the ZX80, ZX81 and Spectrum, plus they're full of type ins too!
It's over 40 years since I did this but I reckon I'm enjoying it more now than when I was 10 years old!
It's over 40 years since I did this but I reckon I'm enjoying it more now than when I was 10 years old!
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bluespikey
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
The Warlock Of Firetop Mountain
What should be the happy intersection of my two favourite things from the early 80s : Fighting Fantasy and the greatest Spectrum game of all : Halls Of The Things. But its not quite how one would hope.
Its a very empty maze game. HotT is very much about fighting the Things. The halls of Firetop Mountain are deserted; you only occasionally meet a baddy. When you do, you no longer have the volley of lighting bolts of the superior game. Instead you've only got feeble arrows or you can try running into them with your sword. At least its still got the cheap laugh of the sword. The baddies do actively come after you now at least, and get faster and angrier the more damage they take. Theres hardly anything to do with the book.
Crash notes that its a rewritten HotT, describing it as more playable somehow. Theres a lot less to do. The controls are slightly less complicated because of the lack of magic, but even Crash gibs on this one, only listing the basic movement keys. (ZXNM). It gives a rating of Very Good and 73% overall.
What should be the happy intersection of my two favourite things from the early 80s : Fighting Fantasy and the greatest Spectrum game of all : Halls Of The Things. But its not quite how one would hope.
Its a very empty maze game. HotT is very much about fighting the Things. The halls of Firetop Mountain are deserted; you only occasionally meet a baddy. When you do, you no longer have the volley of lighting bolts of the superior game. Instead you've only got feeble arrows or you can try running into them with your sword. At least its still got the cheap laugh of the sword. The baddies do actively come after you now at least, and get faster and angrier the more damage they take. Theres hardly anything to do with the book.
Crash notes that its a rewritten HotT, describing it as more playable somehow. Theres a lot less to do. The controls are slightly less complicated because of the lack of magic, but even Crash gibs on this one, only listing the basic movement keys. (ZXNM). It gives a rating of Very Good and 73% overall.
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bluespikey
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
Zaxxan
A UDG version of Zaxxon which isn't actually terrible. Jerky scrolling and movement as one would expect, but considering that Zaxxon requires all the screen to scroll down, it does a reasonable job. Plinky plonk beeps. Crash pulls it up on the jerky scrolling and small aircraft sprite rather; up to now everything has been praised for excellent well drawn graphics.
A short review from Crash without much to say either. Its stopped listing the keys other than to say the positions are 'good'. Its Zaxxon. In compiled basic, no small feat. There is a decending scale of beeps when you die. I'm looking forward to the first Sauls Death March.
A UDG version of Zaxxon which isn't actually terrible. Jerky scrolling and movement as one would expect, but considering that Zaxxon requires all the screen to scroll down, it does a reasonable job. Plinky plonk beeps. Crash pulls it up on the jerky scrolling and small aircraft sprite rather; up to now everything has been praised for excellent well drawn graphics.
A short review from Crash without much to say either. Its stopped listing the keys other than to say the positions are 'good'. Its Zaxxon. In compiled basic, no small feat. There is a decending scale of beeps when you die. I'm looking forward to the first Sauls Death March.
Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
@bluespikey please carry on with these reviews. Always interesting to hear about games that are obscure and forgotten!
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bluespikey
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
Gotcha!
Another two screen wonder. Crash again provides the keys so I don't need to read the instructions. The first screen is easy enough and rather pointless.
The second screen is where the game really begins. It plays like one of the Amoebatron levels in Manic Miner where the sprites move vertically at different speeds, and you mostly move left to right and back, threading up the screen. Once you get to the end of a row, you even get teleported up, you don't need to up key anymore. As you rise higher, there is the novelty of dodging over the top of the baddies and not beneath them.
The schtick is that you're sprite has the momentum of an iceberg. Its like the the occasional jumps in MM and JSW where you set off on a conveyor belt and have to time your start, except now the conveyor belt runs all across the screen. And theres no jump. You can change direction after a while, but its slow to respond. Crash states that you can't reverse course at all. Iceberg momentum is never fun.
The sounds constantly growls at you like a hypnosis program. Crash describes this as good. The sprites are static frames and just move about. Crash still describes this as good animation. The reviewer even admits to not getting off the second screen its so hard. How very polite the reviewers were.
Another two screen wonder. Crash again provides the keys so I don't need to read the instructions. The first screen is easy enough and rather pointless.
The second screen is where the game really begins. It plays like one of the Amoebatron levels in Manic Miner where the sprites move vertically at different speeds, and you mostly move left to right and back, threading up the screen. Once you get to the end of a row, you even get teleported up, you don't need to up key anymore. As you rise higher, there is the novelty of dodging over the top of the baddies and not beneath them.
The schtick is that you're sprite has the momentum of an iceberg. Its like the the occasional jumps in MM and JSW where you set off on a conveyor belt and have to time your start, except now the conveyor belt runs all across the screen. And theres no jump. You can change direction after a while, but its slow to respond. Crash states that you can't reverse course at all. Iceberg momentum is never fun.
The sounds constantly growls at you like a hypnosis program. Crash describes this as good. The sprites are static frames and just move about. Crash still describes this as good animation. The reviewer even admits to not getting off the second screen its so hard. How very polite the reviewers were.
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bluespikey
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
Mission Impossible
A one screen lunar lander. Not much to say, just like Crash. The keys provide left/ right and very very gently thrust. It only generates two speeds of descent, so no momentum balancing going on. Theres rows of sprites and UFOs to dodge through, but the difficulty seems to be based on where the mother ship drops you off. If its in the middle of the screen then you almost sink to them bottom almost without challenge. If its off to the side then there is no chance of avoiding the top row of sprites.
On the way back up to your mothership you now get a gun, but it has little effect on the baddies, just deleting a few pixels. Apparently there is a forcefield on later screens (Or so the instructions say). Again Crash state this as fact without further description, so possibly they didn't play that far either. Its described as hard but addictive. I think it will take a while for the young reviewers to understand the difference between addiction and frustration.
A one screen lunar lander. Not much to say, just like Crash. The keys provide left/ right and very very gently thrust. It only generates two speeds of descent, so no momentum balancing going on. Theres rows of sprites and UFOs to dodge through, but the difficulty seems to be based on where the mother ship drops you off. If its in the middle of the screen then you almost sink to them bottom almost without challenge. If its off to the side then there is no chance of avoiding the top row of sprites.
On the way back up to your mothership you now get a gun, but it has little effect on the baddies, just deleting a few pixels. Apparently there is a forcefield on later screens (Or so the instructions say). Again Crash state this as fact without further description, so possibly they didn't play that far either. Its described as hard but addictive. I think it will take a while for the young reviewers to understand the difference between addiction and frustration.
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bluespikey
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
Barreldrop
A premium Cassette 50 entry. Hit space at the right time to drop barrels onto points. Beep beep a-beep. After the barrel screen is a surprise shooter screen with all of one UFO on it, to be shot 10 times. Ten UFOs at once would probably stress the basic pace of the game too much. Then its back to barrels again. Errr... Thats it.
Compared to other games, £5.95 is extortion. Crash still gives a very polite 68% VfM. A slight bit of dissent creeping in that the reviewer found it "Simple and Boring", but then the reviewer drank alchohol . It then goes on to list "Good graphics, plentiful sounds, lots of action". Oh dearie me. The publisher is one Games Machine Ltd, which I'm not familiar with and seemed to have a limited output on the Spectrum. All the same, looking at the list of advertisers, there they are with half a page on page 17. I'm not saying theres any corruption going on here, but.....
A premium Cassette 50 entry. Hit space at the right time to drop barrels onto points. Beep beep a-beep. After the barrel screen is a surprise shooter screen with all of one UFO on it, to be shot 10 times. Ten UFOs at once would probably stress the basic pace of the game too much. Then its back to barrels again. Errr... Thats it.
Compared to other games, £5.95 is extortion. Crash still gives a very polite 68% VfM. A slight bit of dissent creeping in that the reviewer found it "Simple and Boring", but then the reviewer drank alchohol . It then goes on to list "Good graphics, plentiful sounds, lots of action". Oh dearie me. The publisher is one Games Machine Ltd, which I'm not familiar with and seemed to have a limited output on the Spectrum. All the same, looking at the list of advertisers, there they are with half a page on page 17. I'm not saying theres any corruption going on here, but.....
Last edited by bluespikey on Tue May 21, 2024 2:25 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Sham Mountebank
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
Good idea for a thread, and I like your reviews.
I have one question. Are you just doing the reviews, or the games covered in the Living Guide as well? That way surely lies madness.
I have one question. Are you just doing the reviews, or the games covered in the Living Guide as well? That way surely lies madness.
Where Were They Now? A blog tracking down Britain's pioneering video games houses.
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bluespikey
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
Bugaboo the Flea
Back into familiar territory. Theres a peculiar little story before the Bugaboo and following Ant Attack review about how well Crash were hosted by Quicksilva at their press launch. Apparently they were served (Bought with?) a champagne breakfast. I'm not sure why they needed to include this fact. Is it a disclaimer about paid promotions? Is it letting other publishers the level of bribery they should aspire to?
Anyway, the Bugaboo review is squeezed into a corner of page 15, and then half of page 16. So they breakfast musn't have impressed them too much. Bugaboo has a lovely intro of flying through space, though I'm not sure whether this is supposed to be from the flea's point of view. And then its into the hopathon of trying to ascend the platforms. With the patience of old age I can see now that the power bar does indeed influence the angle and speed of the jump, though its still frustrating. Cos its intended to be frustrating. Especially when you become tucked next to a bush or mushroom patch and have to jump backwards to get past. But there is a lot of charm to keep you going here, rather than the soulless UDG fest it could have been. And the introduction of the dragon is a good idea, rather than the lazy challenge of a timer or dangerous terrain, or falling too far which a lot of more trivial games would have included. The idea of a sprite which is actually indestructible to the map is a good example of less-is-more.
The reviewers liked the game, so it must have been the editors that downgraded the review. "The keys are well positioned and easy to use". The keys are 1 and 0, so yeah, they are. "Two of the best games of 1983, and possibly 1984 as well." Maybe. Lets see. A deserved 92% overall, though sadly no Crash Smash ratings yet.
Back into familiar territory. Theres a peculiar little story before the Bugaboo and following Ant Attack review about how well Crash were hosted by Quicksilva at their press launch. Apparently they were served (Bought with?) a champagne breakfast. I'm not sure why they needed to include this fact. Is it a disclaimer about paid promotions? Is it letting other publishers the level of bribery they should aspire to?
Anyway, the Bugaboo review is squeezed into a corner of page 15, and then half of page 16. So they breakfast musn't have impressed them too much. Bugaboo has a lovely intro of flying through space, though I'm not sure whether this is supposed to be from the flea's point of view. And then its into the hopathon of trying to ascend the platforms. With the patience of old age I can see now that the power bar does indeed influence the angle and speed of the jump, though its still frustrating. Cos its intended to be frustrating. Especially when you become tucked next to a bush or mushroom patch and have to jump backwards to get past. But there is a lot of charm to keep you going here, rather than the soulless UDG fest it could have been. And the introduction of the dragon is a good idea, rather than the lazy challenge of a timer or dangerous terrain, or falling too far which a lot of more trivial games would have included. The idea of a sprite which is actually indestructible to the map is a good example of less-is-more.
The reviewers liked the game, so it must have been the editors that downgraded the review. "The keys are well positioned and easy to use". The keys are 1 and 0, so yeah, they are. "Two of the best games of 1983, and possibly 1984 as well." Maybe. Lets see. A deserved 92% overall, though sadly no Crash Smash ratings yet.
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bluespikey
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
No, just sticking to fully reviewed games. Even so, the issue of Crash is from Feb 84. I suspect a lot of the games in the full reviews have already been available for a few months.Sham Mountebank wrote: ↑Tue May 21, 2024 1:18 pm I have one question. Are you just doing the reviews, or the games covered in the Living Guide as well? That way surely lies madness.
Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
You're not allowed to play the next game until you've got him out.
My Speccy site: thirdharmoniser.com
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Sham Mountebank
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
I think you're right. The first issue of CRASH originally had a publication date of 18th November 1983 (https://archive.org/details/your-comput ... ew=theater) so most of the writing for the first issue would have been completed in early November.bluespikey wrote: ↑Tue May 21, 2024 2:01 pm No, just sticking to fully reviewed games. Even so, the issue of Crash is from Feb 84. I suspect a lot of the games in the full reviews have already been available for a few months.
Where Were They Now? A blog tracking down Britain's pioneering video games houses.
Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
Bugaboo is such a classic. Such a simple concept, superbly playable and while you could finish it in 20 secs it could take you 20 years.
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bluespikey
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
Ant Attack
Oooh now this is controversial. I really enjoyed playing Ant Attack. More so than any game so far. I enjoyed playing properly and rescuing your hapless partner, and I enjoyed just going offplan and exploring the city. Now the reviews all sing the praise of the graphics (even giving a graphics rating of 100%) but are unsure about the game itself. Well I think it works fine as a game, and not just a tech demo in search of a purpose.
When playing it properly, you have a relationship with the ants. They are not just disposable baddies. All five of them are coming for you. I developed a tactic of jumping on them all and paralysing the buggers right at the start of the map until I had a bridge of ants from one swimming pool to the next. This allowed me to explore the city unhindered. But the game is cleverer than that: later levels need you to paralyse the ants to act as platforms to jump higher, so I have to treck back to the starts just to mercy kill the ants to get them to respawn. Theres a difference between baddies that will vanish when you leave a screen and reappear, and those that you know are heading unseen in your direction.
And your partner... It might be a dopey AI which causes frustration. Or it might be part of the charm that you can easily blow them up with grenades, or they stop following you and get over-whelmed by the chasing ant swarm. They need to be managed and you do get a sense of helping them rather than just completing the mission.
The reviewers are critical of the controls. With such small sprites its not immediately obvious which way you are facing. They comment on the good animation, the girl's floaty dress adds to the jumping movement. So its feels a bit harsh that the overall score is only 85%. The purchaser of the champagne breakfast was probably a bit put out by that.
Oooh now this is controversial. I really enjoyed playing Ant Attack. More so than any game so far. I enjoyed playing properly and rescuing your hapless partner, and I enjoyed just going offplan and exploring the city. Now the reviews all sing the praise of the graphics (even giving a graphics rating of 100%) but are unsure about the game itself. Well I think it works fine as a game, and not just a tech demo in search of a purpose.
When playing it properly, you have a relationship with the ants. They are not just disposable baddies. All five of them are coming for you. I developed a tactic of jumping on them all and paralysing the buggers right at the start of the map until I had a bridge of ants from one swimming pool to the next. This allowed me to explore the city unhindered. But the game is cleverer than that: later levels need you to paralyse the ants to act as platforms to jump higher, so I have to treck back to the starts just to mercy kill the ants to get them to respawn. Theres a difference between baddies that will vanish when you leave a screen and reappear, and those that you know are heading unseen in your direction.
And your partner... It might be a dopey AI which causes frustration. Or it might be part of the charm that you can easily blow them up with grenades, or they stop following you and get over-whelmed by the chasing ant swarm. They need to be managed and you do get a sense of helping them rather than just completing the mission.
The reviewers are critical of the controls. With such small sprites its not immediately obvious which way you are facing. They comment on the good animation, the girl's floaty dress adds to the jumping movement. So its feels a bit harsh that the overall score is only 85%. The purchaser of the champagne breakfast was probably a bit put out by that.
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bluespikey
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
Spectron
Got a bit of SQIJ going on. The instructions state the keys are QAVB, but trying both the TAP and TZX files in numerous emulators give no movement. And you only have seconds to respond before the baddies kill you off. It seems to be some sort of compiled basic single screen Robotron, with lots of squidgy beeps. I'm not inclined to figure it out.
The reviews are the usual schoolboy optimism. The UDGs are well detailed and realistic (As opposed to unrealistic?). Its also fast and furious. They put it out to grass with a bland 76%. The only other point to make is that although published by Virgin, Virgin don't have any adverts in this edition, and Spectron only shows up as ever advertised in Your Spectrum and Sinclair User.
Got a bit of SQIJ going on. The instructions state the keys are QAVB, but trying both the TAP and TZX files in numerous emulators give no movement. And you only have seconds to respond before the baddies kill you off. It seems to be some sort of compiled basic single screen Robotron, with lots of squidgy beeps. I'm not inclined to figure it out.
The reviews are the usual schoolboy optimism. The UDGs are well detailed and realistic (As opposed to unrealistic?). Its also fast and furious. They put it out to grass with a bland 76%. The only other point to make is that although published by Virgin, Virgin don't have any adverts in this edition, and Spectron only shows up as ever advertised in Your Spectrum and Sinclair User.
Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
Love Ant Attack and was so chuffed when I unexpectedly completed it back in the day.
Spectron needs an issue 2 keyboard selecting.
For some reason it's listed as inspired by Berzerk when it's more of a Robotron 2084 clone.
It's not actually bad for a compiled UDG-based game, although a twinstick control option would be nice.
Spectron needs an issue 2 keyboard selecting.
For some reason it's listed as inspired by Berzerk when it's more of a Robotron 2084 clone.
It's not actually bad for a compiled UDG-based game, although a twinstick control option would be nice.
Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
85% is a very good score. But that's assuming they're rating on a scale of 1-100%. A lot of magazines wouldn't score less than about 40% with average games getting about 70%.
I never got very far with Ant Attack. The controls were too fiddly. I must give it another go someday.
I never got very far with Ant Attack. The controls were too fiddly. I must give it another go someday.
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bluespikey
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
Well done that man! It does indeed work with the issue 2 option. Spewing out hot full-stops of death. It only mildly improves the game, it still feels like a Your Computer type-in.
I can't find the poll, but I'm sure that back in the day we had a poll about the best game on the Soft-aid collection. Kokotoni Wilf won by a long way over Ant Attack. There were a lot of comments that AA looked good, but not so much fun to play. Well I think it is fun to play.
Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
Could anyone create a fix for Spectron so it can be played on real (+2a) hardware please?
Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
These should get it moving on issue 3, but it doesn't shoot!
51108, 175
51145, 190
51182, 175
51222, 190
Must be reading the keys twice - once to choose direction to move and once to choose direction of shot.
If that's true, then should be able to make it twin stick.
It's really messy code as it's compiled from basic - I just changed the value it's comparing to blank bit 6, as the comparison is done via a call instruction to some library code.
Pokes to shoot should be:
55584, 175
55624, 175
55661, 190
55701, 190
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bluespikey
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
Fire Hawks
The first true basic game. When needing input to advance the instructions, you can delete the key prompt quotes and enter a STOP command instead. L33t hacker stuff in 1984. Its a shooter of a vague space invaders/ phoenix variety. Its not nice to play and the firehawks can loiter at the top of the screen, or suddenly rush down to the bottom and end the game without warning. However, with the firehawks that are actually animated, and the different maps on each level, it could have been better than some of the previous games like Spectron with a bit more polish. (And a splash of MCODER magic).
Crash calls it out for its general shiteness giving it a rating of Fair and 51% overall. The reviews are slowly getting more assertive.
The first true basic game. When needing input to advance the instructions, you can delete the key prompt quotes and enter a STOP command instead. L33t hacker stuff in 1984. Its a shooter of a vague space invaders/ phoenix variety. Its not nice to play and the firehawks can loiter at the top of the screen, or suddenly rush down to the bottom and end the game without warning. However, with the firehawks that are actually animated, and the different maps on each level, it could have been better than some of the previous games like Spectron with a bit more polish. (And a splash of MCODER magic).
Crash calls it out for its general shiteness giving it a rating of Fair and 51% overall. The reviews are slowly getting more assertive.
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bluespikey
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Re: Replaying all the games in Crash issue one.
Bowls
An unashamedly Basic game next. Bowls. The 'I for Instructions' pages all politely progress with scales of beeps and very basic animated text. And then it launches into an typical angle/velocity game, only its crown green bowling rather than artillery duels. Its... basic.
The review doesn't even have a screenshot. The reviewers have gone back into polite mode, saying the people who enjoy this type of game will enjoy it. (Thats what is known as a tautology). Theres a comment that the price tag of £4.50 is one of the cheapest games on the market. Still only gets 50% VfM though.
An unashamedly Basic game next. Bowls. The 'I for Instructions' pages all politely progress with scales of beeps and very basic animated text. And then it launches into an typical angle/velocity game, only its crown green bowling rather than artillery duels. Its... basic.
The review doesn't even have a screenshot. The reviewers have gone back into polite mode, saying the people who enjoy this type of game will enjoy it. (Thats what is known as a tautology). Theres a comment that the price tag of £4.50 is one of the cheapest games on the market. Still only gets 50% VfM though.