https://www.rickdangerous.co.uk/csscgc2021/
The time has come. While there are a handful of entries still to be reviewed for the 2020 competition, I've been in regular contact with [mention]PROSM[/mention] and he's given me the all-clear to get the next CSSCGC underway - because, what has been clear since May is that my plan to become this year's host by writing the least crap game I could manage has paid dividends.
The 2021 competition marks a quarter of a century since the initial attempt in 1996, and as 2019 went without one, this is also the 25th edition, when it should by all rights have been the 26th. It's time for a celebration of Crapness™ above and beyond what the majority of the entries deserve - even though that's the way it should be. I've said it enough times: I don't do things by halves.
For a start, this is the comp.sys.SINCLAIR Crap Games Competition, not the "comp.sys.spectrum" Crap Games Competition. Hence, it isn't just open to Spectrum entries. Oh no. You can write for the ZX81 and ZX80 - and I will be aiming for more entries than ever before in any year for both these machines, the ZX81 in particular as it blows out 40 candles on its birthday cake in 2021 (silently, and in black and white). You can also write for the QL - and if you've never tried QL programming before, like I hadn't before this year started, then you are particularly encouraged to do so. And I'll accept entries for "Sinclair-esque" machines - the SAM Coupé, the Jupiter Ace, the Z88 - as well as the clones from Eastern Europe, Brazil and beyond - and the new kids on the block, the ZX-UNO, ZX-Evolution, and of course, the Next. I will be taking delivery of a Next in August if all goes to plan, and I want some Next BASIC Crap Games to test on it! The rule is: as long as there's some kind of recognisable Sinclair lineage in the machine, as long as I have a reliable way to emulate it, and as long as you provide failsafe loading instructions for noobs (particularly in the case of the Jupiter Ace!) then I'll review it, and the more machines are included, the better.
I've come up with some challenges, and they'll be running throughout the competition, to avoid the kind of situations in which nobody enters because the time limit is so tight that even a quarter-baked idea can't be developed into the most meagre of games. You are openly encouraged to program machines you've never tried to program before, you are further encouraged to use strange and under-appreciated features of Spectrum BASIC (or any other Sinclair BASIC, for that matter), and produce weird error reports. If you're good at machine code, you can prove your worth by cramming your skills into a 1K ZX80 and making it do something useful in that tiny amount of memory. And, if you're really short of ideas, then you can win the approval of St. Greta of Stockholm by recycling an old CSSCGC entry - or even one from the C64CGCs of yore (gasp!) - and converting it for a different machine. Spectrum to ZX81 downgrades are welcome, Spectrum to QL/SAM/Next upgrades are also encouraged.
The CSSCGC 2021 website contains a complete list of previous competitions all the way back to 1996, with links to the original website or an archived copy, as well as the compilations that are hosted on ZXDB (and which will be updated over the course of the year) - so there's no excuse not to get to know your history and plunder the archives for inspiration. And while I have put up what might be a rather daunting list of rules, essentially it all boils down to this: submit something I have a decent chance of being able to test for a review, and don't be a knob.
The CSSCGC was formed as a "tribute" of sorts to Cassette 50, and two of the better titles on that compilation had previously been published as magazine type-ins. I have attempted, in the Scoring System page, to define a baseline for what I'll accept:
"If I was the editor of Sinclair Programs in 1983, would I publish this as a type-in listing in my magazine?"
Some type-ins really were the bare bones of what is acceptable, and it probably depended on whether the upcoming issue of the magazine was desperate to fill a corner or not. I see a type-in as the quintessential "Crap Games" of the day, even if most of the amusement they provided was typing them in and getting them to work rather than playing the end result. So that's what I'm aiming for: I will put myself in the position of a magazine editor of the day and see what's what.
Hence, the WINNER of the competition will be the one that displays "maximum effort, minimum attainment". I have led by example in 2020 with the Casio MG-777 Games compilation - the lowest-rated of all my submissions, somewhat bizarrely given that DNA Dilemma was destined for the dustbin and this... wasn't. [mention]PROSM[/mention] even mentioned how I'd gone to a lot of extra effort - getting the timings right, and the sounds, making three separate loading screens, and making tape, disc and microdrive versions, and complete reproductions of the original manual - all for three games that were barely more entertaining than Noughts and Crosses on the back of a fag packet. So do what you have to do - and then embellish it with all sorts of bells and whistles that add nothing to the actual game or gameplay, but also show me that you didn't just bash it all out in five minutes.
The bare minimum ever submitted, incidentally, was "10 PRINT 7". That's it. I've reproduced the entire "game" there. I think the title was longer than the program itself (certainly in terms of bytes). Don't do this. It may negatively influence how I view your other efforts. (And by that I mean, it will.)
The LOSER, and thus the appointed host of the 2022 CSSCGC, will be the one that displays "maximum effort, maximum attainment". In short, 2021's answer to Corona Capers. If you want to host the 2022 CSSCGC, get scribbling on BASin. Or, better still, a more technically impressive machine, such as the QL, SAM Coupé or Next. Opting for obscure machines will secure automatic effort points.
The competition will open as soon as Jools Holland declares that it is now 2021 - providing he actually has a Hootenanny, which isn't certain under the current regime. Either way, at the stroke of midnight at the New Year, you can submit your entry. Send it to csscgc2021 (at) rickdangerous.co.uk and if I get the first entry when I wake up in the morning on 1st January, I'll crack on with the review.
The competition is scheduled to end at Two Minutes to Midnight on 30th November. With a scoring system as complicated and convoluted as mine, I've given myself a month to sort out the loose ends and decide on the winners and losers - because I foresee some tied scores, I'll probably need to appoint some guest judges to get it finished in that case. There will be absolutely no overspill into 2022 whatsoever. I don't care if it's a tradition that the competition runs late, that's one I'm willing to break.
And as for breaking things, I'll go all out to break records. I want more ZX81 and ZX80 entries than in any previous year (so a minimum of 8 and 6 respectively). I want more of all of the obscure models than ever before, and a first-ever submission for one (maybe even all) of the 21st Century "son of Spectrum" machines.
Because of all sad words of tongue and pen, the saddest are these: "It might have been."
This will be no "It might have been" competition. Not on my watch.
For now, for the remaining five days and four hours of 2020, look out for the last few reviews for this year.
