"Loginning"? That's not a verb, it's a small village in County Kerry - deep in the Gaeltacht, so the locals spell it "Loaghéaninchéain".
Population: farty five sheep (none of them called Chris), one constantly-drunk leprechaun, and twelve actual humans (
who all sound like this).
Buildings: a few stone farmhouses, a small shop that doubles as a post office, a church, and three pubs. None of them are ever short of trade. This may account for why the number of sheep that the locals can see varies from farty five to eighty far on a given day, and the leprechaun might just be a figment of Mad Caoimhín Ó Súilleabháin's imagination. (That's "Kevin O'Sullivan", for non-Irish speakers. Is anyone
still wondering why the Gaeltacht has shrunk so much?)
Number of Sinclair computers: 1. Father O'Boyle bought a second-hand QL in 1992 after discovering it had an accented character set, allowing him to write the parish magazine in Irish. It's still written with Quill, illustrated with Easel and printed on an Epson FX-80 to this day. Annoyingly, last week's sermon had to be made up spontaneously because the felt fell out of the microdrive cartridge it was stored on. Despite this setback, he has no intention of replacing it with a Commodore Minus/60 that he was offered by a travelling salesman from Cork three years ago.
Number of times anyone has actually
read the parish magazine: 0.
Number of FX-80 printing ribbons Father O'Boyle has wasted in the last 30 years printing a parish magazine that nobody reads: 87. (In hexadecimal.)
(This post was inspired by
Ireland on the ZX Spectrum, which I was looking at half an hour ago.)