PeteProdge wrote: ↑Sun Aug 20, 2023 8:10 am
Dead cat 'Selwyn' was the 'beloved pet' which inspired the game Paws.
The comment "Gremlin thought the game was inspired by the idea of acquiring the rights to the musical Cats, but let it pass" is probably closer to the mark given the pre-release reviews...
PeteProdge wrote: ↑Sun Aug 27, 2023 10:41 am
"A tacky dance show so vulgar the organisers pulled the plug" was put on by System 3 to promote Twisted - Mother Of Harlots at the show.
One thing we take for granted these days is how pretty much every of interest is filmed by someone. Unfortunately, this tacky dance show is lost to the midst of time and we'll never get to see how vulgar it was.
SteveSmith wrote: ↑Sun Aug 27, 2023 2:00 pm
One thing we take for granted these days is how pretty much every of interest is filmed by someone. Unfortunately, this tacky dance show is lost to the midst of time and we'll never get to see how vulgar it was.
Ha, good find. I should have looked at the original article.
Julian Riignall recently tweeted that Mark Cale was the only person who he's ever had to ask to leave the Zzap offices for being a less than ideal human being.
SteveSmith wrote: ↑Sun Aug 27, 2023 4:02 pm
Julian Riignall recently tweeted that Mark Cale was the only person who he's ever had to ask to leave the Zzap offices for being a less than ideal human being.
Tim Langdell put out The Artist, then came OCP with Art Studio. Gremlin notes OCP is "flogging the rights" to this to Herbie Wright at Firebird, wondering if it's "anything to do with Langdell's threatened intention to fight back with The Artist II?"
Cocking a snoot at the magazine Your Computer, Gremlin points out their November "Spectrum 128 'review'" is labelled a SCOOP (in big letters), but notes the copy all comes from "our friends at Micro Hobby". Gremlin labels that a "Spanish weekly micro rag". EMAP's Chris Bourne "who endured a week of solid boozing on the Costa Brava to bring you the story last month, before the YC 'scoop' is understandably miffed". The Sinclair User journalist is credited with persuading Investronica staff to deliver "all the technical details just to get him off their stand" and "Yawn Computing didn't even mention the RAM discs".
Sinclair's notorious tardiness over business payments is a focus for Gremlin this month. Freddy Vaccha of Digital Precision received an order for 20 copies of his QL Compiler from Cambridge, so he responded with "Since we only give credit to reputable companies..." This could be related to an earlier spat where Sinclair insisted QL was trademarked and Digital Precision shouldn't be using it without permission.
Different times. Mikro-Gen put on a press event to promote Sir Fred, where a Henry VIII impersonator humiliated a woman from What Micro? magazine. Mikro-Gen's Mike Meek was banging the table to the sound of Irish folk song Wild Rover and Gremlin gets to put a dig in about the stale Bounty bars they sent to promote Three Weeks In Paradise.
Has Legend bitten the dust? It wouldn't be surprising, given how underwhelming The Great Space Race was, after Valhalla. Gremlin notes the phone line has been an answering machine for the past two months. The head of Legend is John Peel (no, not that one), who came up with Komplex, the label's last game, but Gremlin knows that the sequel, Komplex City (also coded by John) is being shown to several software houses with a view to release, even budget ones.
"I rather watch it than watch Coronation Street" says Feargal Sharkey in a PR stunt for Micronet. But can you trust a man who got beaten at Subbuteo because his cousin flicked to kick and he didn't know?
Gremlin doesn't mention them, but it's clear the "humourless" software house who have just threatened SU with solicitors over remarks made in the previous month' column is Mikro-Gen.
Marianne Scarlett and Priscilla Langridge from St Bride's spent a boozy lunch with Gremlin. They had been flown in from Ireland on a plane that circled Heathrow Airport for so long that Priscilla developed a crippling headache.
Speaking of Mikro-Gen, poor sales of Shadow Of The Unicorn caused "at least one chain store to think twice about the latest from the House of Wallly". Still, owner Mike Meek is laughing at Gladiator from Domark as the programmer first approached Mikro-Gen. "It's completely unplayable," says Meek, "what you're looking at in Gladiator is a Mikro-Gen reject."
Also on the subject of Domark this was the Christmas card they sent out, promoting the abysmal Friday the 13th game. Colour version here.
What was the first time there's ever been an on-screen kiss in a computer game? Rod Cousens from Electric Dreams claims it's in their new game, Back To The Future, but this is quickly slapped down by Gremlin, pointing out Robin of Sherlock and Fighting Warrior.
The Scooby Prize has been invented by Gremlin, dedicated to games that have been announced and advertised "27 years before they actually appear". Prompted by Ocean's Rambo turning up as SU went to press, Gremlin muses on last year's games: Knight Rider and NeverEnding Story. He settles on choosing Street Hawk as the first winner of this prize, first advertised in SU in May. "Don't talk to me about Street Hawk! Ocean is conscious of the problem. It's very embarassing" says Jennie Beattie at the software house. Other Scoobies - Best Supporting Scooby: Daley Thompson's Supertest. Best foreign Scooby: International Karate. Best Scooby: Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Notable nominees: Mugsy's Revenge, Dr Who and Asterix. Of course, with the benefit of typing this in 2023, we can spot that Dr Who (or Doctor Who as pedant Whovians will insist) is the game that never arrived.
Marianne Scarlett and Priscilla Langridge from St Bride's spent a boozy lunch with Gremlin. They had been flown in from Ireland on a plane that circled Heathrow Airport for so long that Priscilla developed a crippling headache.
"Hordes of mums and dads think it's nasty, violent dreck" says Gremlin of Friday The 13th from Domark, who have discontinued its "gross ad". There's also to be a change to the picture on the cassette inlay.
Speaking of dodgy ads, Gremlin rips into US Gold for its badly drawn Legend Of The Amazon Women game.
Talent Computer Systems, a QL games-producing software label (yes, such things exist) has sent haggis over to Sinclair User staff. I suppose the connection here is that they're based in Glasgow.
Another thing sent by another software label to plug a game is plastic policeman helmet. It's to plug The Force, which, thanks to ZXDB, we know is from Mind Games an off-shoot of Argus Press, but Gremlin has for some reasons erroneously attributed it to Mirrorsoft.
The "first ever naughty computer game, combining the excitement of Strip Poker with the fun of Postman's Knock", according to designer Ian Paterson is Posthorn from Satyr Software. Well, it's pretty much MIA in ZXDB, and it's the only thing Satyr Software made (or rather, intended to make) for the Speccy... or indeed any computer at all. They've come up with literally nothing! It's also mentioned in Your Sinclair #3, where it's "just released", stating "the mind boggles 'cos there's no sound and no piccys - not even dirty ones". Available via mail order from Posthorn Despatch Dept, PO Box 1, Spennymore, County Durham for £15.50. Ian is cited by Gremlin has having said the game "persuades players to take their clothes off and then leave the room". "It's not up to me what people do outside the room", says Ian.
Beyond has the UK rights to the 1985 Superman game from First Star that first surfaced on the Commodore 64. Gremlin cites weekly trade paper Microscope where Beyond themselves have told them the Spectrum version is "atrocious", so in Gremlin's words, it's "not worth bothering about". Well, we know Telecomsoft did bother with it...
More Scooby award news, as readers nominate more games that have been advertised without a trace of their availability as yet. US Gold receives three nominations from reader D W May for Fort Apocalypse, Up 'n' Down and F 15 Strike Eagle, "advertised in January 1985 and never been heard of since". Well, F-15 Strike Eagle eventually appeared thanks to MicroProse...
Another Scooby could well be Superbowl, advertised by Ocean. Gremlin "discovers that the programmers wanted to watch the actual match before they finished the game. To learn the rules, perhaps?.."
Finally, there's some eyebrow raising over CRL's new 'punk' label, Nu Wave, with its debut release iD, created by Mel Croucher. Gremlin has learnt Mel is doing a new Commodore game called Darkness At Dawn, an adverture with no text and no graphics, just based purely on sound effects. "Commode users love this sort of thing. It fortifies their belief that you don't have to be able to read or write to feel moderately successful. Educated Spectrum buffs may scoff, but there's many a poor underprivileged cretin out there needing comfort. Next month - the loneliness of the cut-price Electron owner..."
If you thought review bribery was pretty 'off' in the UK, well, there's a tale from Spain. "I saw a review in Zzap 64 which is not a good review. We won't make the same mistake in Spain. We pay the main, we get a good review. We don't get a good review, we break his legs." This quote, concerning Friday the 13th, is delivered by the proxy of Domark's Dominic Wheatley, attributed to a Spanish distributor called 'Jose'.
Gremlin's appeal for early "smutty computer games" last month. Reader J R Beavis suggests Robin Of Sherlock (1985), probably because you can unlock Maid Marian's chastity belt. Gremlin isn't happy with such a tepid response, so he puts forward the early version of Ship Of Doom from Artic, which concerns an android.
A press release from CDS claims itself to be "the sixth software house" ahead of "both Firebird and Ultimate". Chinny reckon! The extraordinary (and dubious) boast is based on a list of top suppliers to distributors Websters for the previous year. Although Websters no longer distributes software.
Simon Bratell from Design Design has been taking a pop at Sinclair User, what with it being an EMAP asset and EMAP is (or rather, was) of course the owner of Beyond Software. Remarks were made in interviews with two fanzines, The Bug and Interface. "For the record, Simon, we were biased in favour of Beyond before we joined EMAP", says Gremlin, referring to the time it was published by ECC Publications, "continued to adore Beyond while it was part of EMAP and now British Telecom is in charge we'll probably loathe everything it brings out, especially Scooby nominee Superman." A look at Superman's ZXDB listing on this site shows that SU never reviewed it, and nor did any other magazine! How strange.
the early version of Ship Of Doom from Artic, which concerns an android.
I can remember playing that as a kid and thinking how clever/edgy it was that they'd included the option to perform a particular action with a sonic screwdriver but, looking back on it as an adult, I have to admit I find the whole thing distasteful and unnecessary, not least because it serves no real purpose in the adventure. You have to wonder about the people who thought that was a good thing to put into a game...
It's 12 months since Street Hawk was advertised in SU by Ocean, so Gremlin recounts the numerous Scooby awards the label has picked up (Supertest, Knight Rider, Frankie Goes To Hollywood and Superbowl). Accepting a Scooby on behalf of the software label's David Ward, Jennie Beattie says "Ocean will be adopting a policy of not advertising the games at all. Green Beret is the hat to wear. Superbowl is on its way to you now."
The "slim publication" Your Sinclair comes under fire for an advert of Contact Sam Cruise, where the team at Microsphere used a real 1940s American newspaper from the British Museum Library to source some of the classified ad copy. Sinclair User displayed the full page ad as intended, with the ring of a red marker pen highlighting the "Contact Sam Cruise" item, but as for YS, someone marked up the wrong classified, meaning it looked like Microsphere were selling a second-hand 1940 Studebaker Sedan. "Microsphere has already received several offers for this non-existent car and, having discovered how much they are really worth, is desperately trying to find some."
Following the subject being brought up by Gremlin a few months back, readers have been writing in about the first smutty computer game. The NSFW Pigman on the BBC Micro gets a mention, as do adverts for Cathouse Blues, Philly Flasher, Gigolo and other games from Silver Fox. Gremlin mentioned that Racquel's Game was regularly advertised in the classifieds of Popular Computing Weekly but hasn't received any memories of that one. But one reader, Steve Dickinson, wins a fiver for spotting particularly grubby 1K ZX81 games in the very first issue of Sinclair User = Vasectomy, Smut, Sodom, Conception and Seduction.
The above was pretty grim reading, but then the idea of Seal Cull ("you must club as many baby seals as possible while avoiding Greenpeace"), Aids Alert ("finding your way through a maze of public toilets") and Motorway Maniac ("animated attacks on the hard shoulders") is even worse. Although this press release, from the alleged company Hardsoft and the fact this is an issue with a May coverdate made me think it's a particularly obvious April Fools gag. And by the end of the item, yeah, it is, but not one of SU's inventions. It's attributed to Chris Jenkins of Commodore Horizons, trying to wind Gremlin up. Different times, eh? (Looks like the magazine bit the dust around this time, but Chris did eventually work for Sinclair User.)
The near-the-knuckle subjects keep on coming (oo-er), with Gremlin reporting on Martech'sSamantha Fox Strip Poker. "Press releases burble on about the artificial intelligence routines with great pomposity. [...] ...you don't need to fork out nine quid to see pictures of Sammy's whammies."
An underwhelming press release: "Tony Crowther returns to Alligata, it says. Alligata therefore wins instantly the Brazen Backslappers of the Month Award. It's a short piece, but contains an absolute gem - 'Tony's most creative period was whilst with Alligata in 1983-4'. Gremlin always thought Tony's heyday, if it can be called that, was at Bug-Byte with programs like Twin Kingdom Valley. Unable to recall offhand what Alligata was up to in 1983, it becomes necessary to consult the oracle - John 'disgusting' Gilbert, whose memory for anything with the fabled Gilbert Factor attached is awesome. "Alligata?" opines John. "They were so small an outfit I doubt if we even covered them." A million unsold copies of Son of Blagger - or a grubby fiver - to anyone who can name the first Tony Crowther game written for Alligata." Um, Tony Crowther was strictly a Commodore 64 programmer in the 8-bit era.
The Amstrad era of the ZX Spectrum has just begun, and Gremlin's not happy at 'Lord Saccharin' describing Sir Clive Sinclair's computer reliability record as "appalling", so he throws some shade at those Amstrad hi-fis with "flashy chrome knobs that fall off two minutes after you've got it back home". He also thinks the plan to release the +2 for the autumns means nobody will buy a toastrack 128 before then.
Scorn is poured over Mosaic's aquisition of the license to The Archers (long-running BBC Radio 4 soap opera based on rural folk). Gremlin brings up The Secret Diary Of Adrian Mole as an "unexciting game" that "embarrassed its programmers". "It won the accolade of an appearance in Private Eye's Great Bores Of Today" says Mosaic.
A catch up on Scooby Award nominations (games that get advertised but seldom appear). TT Racer from Digital Integration is worth a shout, first advertised back in Oct 1984. Doctor Who And The Mines Of Terror from Micro Power is also cited, the only existence of it being some Commodore 64 screenshots. And yeah, with the benefit of hindsight, I can say that TT Racer eventually came out in Sep 1986 and the Doctor Who game appeared on the C64, Amstrad CPC and BBC micro, with its Spectrum version being about as tangible as a trace of empathy in Suella Braverman's head.
It's noted that ex-Sinclair User editor Bill Scolding has signed up with Newsfield (them lot who published Crash, Zzap! and Amtix) to edit the CPC title Amtix for "a week or so" due to an editor leaving.
Sinclair User is confused by a bizarre press release from Melbourne House which just says "Say 'Kwah'". Thought they did reckon that because 'Kwah' is Hawk backwards, that it might be something to do with Redhawk.
