FIRST 128K +2 PERIPHERAL

Talk about quick off the mark. Cheetah must take this year's award for the fastest response time ever.

The company has rejigged its best-selling 125 joystick to be compatible with Amstrad's new 128K+2 Spectrum. The joystick was launched at the Personal Computer World Show at the same time as the computer itself - that's quick.

The problem with connecting ordinary joysticks to the 128K+2 is that they simply won't work. For what can only be cynical reasons Amstrad has configured the pins in the machine differently from the configuration used in virtually every other machine under the sun - whilst retaining the Atari D-type socket. Assuming a good many people will want to up-grade to the 128K+2 from their existing Spectrum - for which they may have already got some joysticks, absurdly enough, the only way they can use them is in the same old way, ie plugging in an interface into the back expansion port. Craziness.

The joystick Amstrad wants you to buy costs £14.95 and is worryingly insubstantial.

However, Amstrad's hopes of cleaning up in the joystick market seem to have been dashed now by Cheetah. For £8.95 you can buy the 125+, an unpretentious lever-switch joystick that has been a staple unit for a good long while. The only difference between this joystick and the old 125 is the addition of a new grey cable which runs out from the conventionally- wired connector and ends in a repinned connector.

You can tell which is which easily - the 128K+2 section is grey - like the machine itself.

The change is simple and works. It isn't an astounding joystick - like all lever-switch style joysticks I probably wouldn't expect to last all that long.

But it has lots of features, like auto-fire and multiple-fire buttons and is easy to grip. It is certainly better than the Amstrad offering for considerably less cash.

Actually, you don't even have to buy the joystick if you already have one. Cheetah are marketing a lead for £2.99 which will convert your old joystick to the new format.

Yet another Quickshot clone! It's black, with red buttons, rubber feet and a rather dodgy switch system. This stick has got fire buttons all over it! There are two on the base, a trigger, one on the very top of the shaft and an autofire. It's reasonably strong, but is very Light, and feels as if it's suffering under the strain of multi-directional zapping!

Performance on Uridium:

Urgh! These base-mounted buttons are dreadful! Let's try the trigger; not much use either. Now about autofire? Oh. That doesn't work either. Not doing very well so far, is it, folks?

Playing a passive game of Uridium isn't the easiest - or most sensible thing in the world. Still, the movement is pretty good. There isn't much resistance to direction-changes, and it's not too hard to avoid the dreadnought's static defences.

Performance on Winter Games:

Still rather awful. The firing was slow and inaccurate, and movement followed suit. It felt strong, though, and held up reasonably well under prolonged play.

JOYSTICK CONNOISSEUR CHARLTON APPLEBY TAKES A CRITICAL LOOK AT ESTABLISHED SPECTRUM JOYSTICKS AND ALSO PLAYTESTS CHEETAH'S NEW 128+2 COMPATIBLE STICKS.

Cheetah
£8.95

The Cheetah 125+ joystick is a pistol-grip type of device with a thumb button on the top of the stick and a trigger for your forefinger. There is also the addition of two buttons on the ample, rounded, base. The moulding of the stick is very curvaceous and fits the hand nicely, the base has four suction cups on it to secure the stick firmly to a smooth surface.

The cable is about a yard long with two plugs on the end. This split adaptor also features on the Mach 1+ and is of special interest to Sinclair owners, especially prospective purchasers of the ZX Spectrum 128+2. One of the plugs is a normal Atari-type D9 suitable for the majority of home computers, and the other one is a grey connector for the side of the new Sinclair machine. This second connector is re-wired in the manner that the new machine needs to get its signals, so you don't have to buy those awful SJSI things. My only worry is that, whilst this is a good idea, the way that the first connector has two wires coming out of it may weaken the link at the plug attachment point. As this is an area where a lot of joysticks break, and short of cutting the cable and replacing the plug, it is irreparable.

Also on the stick is the now almost obligatory, auto-fire switch. This is a switch to make the joystick function like a machine-gun, and to save wear and tear on the fire buttons (an area where a joystick is likely to fail first). A lot of modern games have auto-fire detectors that will cut out this facility or make it function to the detriment of the player, but a lot of games will be made more playable - in fact, some games are almost impossible to contend with without an auto-fire feature.

My main gripe with this stick is that it is not very responsive, the internal construction is that of collapsible domes, which usually give the best feedback, however in this case the stick is almost dead in my hand and games can be very tricky to play.

However, I would definitely recommend the 125+ for owners of the Spectrum 128+. It has all the features you would expect from an up to date joystick and although a bit lacking in the response department it's an efficient multi-purpose stick and at £8.95 it's a bargain.

HARD FACTS SPECIAL

Are you having a hard time choosing the right hardware? Hard but Steve Adams has the lowdown on the latest hardware. And it's all under £100.

Cheetah Marketing
£8.95

Cheetah's 125+ is one of the first joysticks to be compatible with the Spectrum +2's fiendish SJS1 joystick port and the standard Kempston. It sports two plugs on the and of the lead, a black one for standard Kempston purposes and a flashy new grey one, that'll subtly blend with the casing of your Spectrum +2. The 125+ comes with a pistol-grip stick, trigger, top and base buttons and an auto-fire option switch.

THE JOY OF STICKS

We've waggled our way through the joystick jungle to bring you the latest on the firepower of ten top joysticks.

If you're a real games addict you'll know how important a good joystick is. Games have moved on a bit since Pacman and Space Invaders where all you had to do was move left and right and blast the fire button every now and again. Then you could use the same joystick for all the seven games on the market.

Nowadays, however, computer games are much more demanding and varied - shoot 'em ups, beat 'em ups, fly 'em ups, waggle 'em ups, steer 'em ups and even fry 'em ups - they all need differing degrees of precision, manoeuvrability and strength. Which is why you need a damn good joystick for the job - and there are plenty to choose from. So there's no excuse for a bad game player to blame his tools!

But which joystick is best for the games you play? Which joystick do you choose? There are thousands. And you've only got twenty quid.

Well, it just so happens that we've got a run-down on 10 of the most popular sticks on the market - read on to find out which one covers your every need.

THE GAMES

A joystick's performance varies considerably from game to game. The precise movements needed in a martial arts game become redundant in an out and out waggle 'em up. And then, the strength and slackness of one stick might not help in a steering game where full control and manoeuvrability is necessary. So, in order to test the joysticks fully, we chose three different titles to strain those sticks to the limit. Target Renegade tests for precision, Daley Thompson's Olympic Challenge for strength and Skate Crazy for manoeuvrability. And to make the contest even harder we asked three hot gamesplayers to give us their opinions on which sticks they preferred.

TARGET RENEGADE

A beefy beat 'em up. All that punching and kicking and butting requires a stick with easy access to diagonals and fire buttons, plus the ability to move slightly and quickly in any direction.

SKATE CRAZY

A loose and bouncy roller skate game, needing a combination of ease-of-movement and well positioned fire buttons for that sudden leap. A stick for this game will also need a strong shaft to resist those frantic circular steering motions.

DALEY THOMPSON'S OLYMPIC CHALLENGE

The meanest, the baddest and the toughest waggle 'em up in existence. The constant waggling environment requires a stick with excellent strength and good speed, coupled with a sturdy desk hold and well contoured grip.

THE JURY

Yes, solemn of face, tough of opinion, stingy of money, and ravenous of hunger, here are the three jury members, unswayable by money (or cheeseburger), ready to deliver their verdicts on the guilty sharp sticks.

STEVEN BREWER

Age: 16
Sex: Male
Dist Features: Inane grin
Computers: Speccy, QL
Fave Rave: Gauntlet
Hobbies: Grinning inanely, being enthusiastic about nothing
Fave Music: U2

MILES TUDOR

Age: 16
Sex: Twice a... (Snip. Ed)
Dist Features: Bloodshot, knackered eyes
Computers: I ain't got one, but if anybody's offerin'?
Fave Rave: Target Renegade
Hobbies: Sheep-spotting, train-spotting, spot-picking
Fave Music: Prince

HOWARD KING

Age: 16
Sex: Male
Dist Features: 'boyish good looks' Spluuter!
Computers: Speccy 48K
Fave Rave: Robin O' the Wood
Hobbies: Boasting about his handicap (gold), kicking the dog 'bout a bit'
Fave Music: Queen

SPECTRAVIDEO QUICKSHOT 2

The Quickshot 2 is the father of most joysticks today, but its age does not show in its design. It has a square base, and a wide, sharply contoured handle as well as three fire buttons and an auto fire switch. It's four suckers stick relentlessly to any surface. The shaft is long and loose, which provides a fairly slowish response. The diagonals are difficult to locate in a hurry and it can't handle double movements (such as flying kicks) too well. It excels waggle-wise and the auto-fire switch is easily flicked on by the wrist. But despite all these faults, it works remarkably well in all games.

Steve: 'Its slackness click irritated the hell out of my moody sister.'

Miles: 'One old timer that's still up there with the new ones.'

Howard: 'Ooh I'm a sucker for the suckers!'

A little slow, a little temperamental, a little noisy - but what do you expect from a four year old joystick? Recommended.

SUNCOM TAC 5

Now here's a very striking joystick - its beige and grey colouring is very chic, good-looking and elegant. The bulky square base sits on four studs and its size makes it unmoveably solid on a desk top even during savage waggling. There are three fire buttons. The stick moves with a very distinctive microswitch click that would annoy your parents and dogs.

Movement is pretty good. The diagonals are excellent and there when you want them, although the stick does twist disconcertingly when you move it. It shines in all four departments but the granulated grip is a little too soft.

Steve: 'I felt in full control when using this one. Great stuff.'

Miles: 'Though it looks very "Habitat" I didn't find it very responsive.'

Howard: 'I sweated so much the red directional marks rubbed off and I thought id cut myself!'

Extremely attractive number with solid build, good diagonals and response. Annoying microswitch click, impotent fire button positioning and rub-off-when-wet paint let it down a little. Recommended.

CHEETAH 125+3

The design of this joystick is very authentic, attractive and similar to the Quickshot 2. The base is robust and granulated for extra grip. It has four fire buttons. The stick, however, looks very plasticy and the seams were bluntly evident.

The wide grip and tight throw allow magnificent handling although its size tends to make delicate or slight movements tricky. It responds quickly and smoothly especially in abrupt direction changes, despite the loud groans the stick emits under stress. Precision is perfect but in waggle-'em-ups, the stiffness of the stick prevents a good fast momentum. And it is simply perfect for games requiring manoeuvrability.

Steve: 'The Cheetah 125+3 is the one for me - it's a beauty to handle!'

Miles: 'I found this stick particularly useful in Skate Crazy which requires a lot of direction changes.'

Howard: 'If only it would waggle better!'

Outstanding all round joystick, authentically designed, furiously responsive, unbeatable steering but disappointing waggle-ratio. Recommended.

POWERPLAY CRUISER

The Cruiser is an instantly appealing and very attractive joystick, with its blue curved base, two-deep set white base buttons, and red standard stick. It rests solidly on four suckers on any desk top, but the curved design also suits the hand.

The feature that really makes this joystick is the variable tension feature that allows you to select one of three degrees of tightness. The fire buttons are very well placed and click responsively. Diagonals are easy to find and direction changes are good.

Adjusting the tension to number two helped in games requiring manoeuvrability, and as for waggling, number three seemed the best. The tightest tension (number one) worked best with Renegade. One of the less muscle-bound reviewers observed that the way you changed the tension (lifting then turning the stick) was quite difficult and a weak and feeble gamesplayer may find it a touch difficult.

Steve: 'I'm a wimp so I found changing the tension awkward - I was so tired I couldn't play the game.'

Miles: 'Not a bad little number for the all round gamesplayer. Worth, the money!'

Howard: 'This is my top stick. It caters for everything and looks neat too!'

Noisy but powerful joystick with unique variable tension option and multi-coloured "spaceship" look. Recommended.

RAM DELTA

The RAM Delia's design is very distinctive, futuristic and angular. The base is shaped like the front of a car while the shaft looks like a gear-stick. It's supported on three suckers placed at each corner, but holds just as well in the palm of your hand. Unfortunately it's shortness restricts precision, especially during hectic Renegade combat.

Response is very polished and light, and the microswitches make the direction changes quick and substantial. While waggling, the small throw (the distance the stick moves in any direction) of the stick creates a good rhythm, but excess exertion leads to a sweaty slippery grip. All directional movements are springy, and the clicks of the switches are quiet and unobtrusive, yet loud enough to indicate when you had forced the joystick far enough.

Steve: 'I liked the design but found handling a little awkward.'

Miles: 'This one is definitely my favourite - I've never gripped such a nice stick!'

Howard: 'Control is superb - and I loved those suckers!'

Superb sculptured joystick, dedicated to those who like looks, body and character in their sticks. Recommended.

EUROMAX PRO-ACE

The Pro-Ace is a sturdy-based joystick with a long slender shaft and two fire buttons. The shaft is good and stiff but feels rather flimsy - as if it might break off at any moment. The lack of suckers and a firm base make it rock drunkenly on the desk during any frantic action.

The fire buttons, however, are well placed and responsive. The throw is microscopic and renders waggling virtually useless. Described as emphatically pedestrian (What?? Ed) the Pro-ace steers quite well considering the limited throw, but the diagonals have to be forced and the shaft is too long for the field of Renegade movement.

Steve: 'Not bad, not bad! I've used a better tool though!'

Miles: 'Nice looking stick this - and it handles well too!'

Howard: 'Cor this is rather good. I quite like it.'

A stiff and flimsy affair, which rocks on the table and reacts very slowly. Steers well though.

SUNCOM TAC 2

This small, square based joystick is the most solid on a desk top, and is compact, durable and quite rugged. It has two buttons The stick only moves slightly in each direction but triggers first-rate responses. However this light operation is let down by the overly (or underly) short shaft.

The sensitivity is excellent and made both steering and diagonals a piece of cake. After a bout of waggling though, the handle became quite wet and one of the more sensitive reviewers suffered from a sore thumb after a heavy game of Renegade.

Steve: 'This one was in a class of its own in playing Skate Crazy.'

Miles: 'Not as good as the Suncom Tac 2 I'm afraid.'

Howard: 'Tac is an apt name 'cos it's one of the tackiest objects I've seen.'

Sturdy solid joystick, attractively metal-plated, is not so hot precision-wise but practically boiling in the steering field.

KONIX SPEEDKING

This unusually shaped joystick looks a little like a lost jigsaw piece and half a pelvis. It's very well designed for a hand held grip but so does not sit easily on the desk. The stick is a short red affair in arcade-machine stumpy style and is microswitched.

It slides quickly into diagonal position and the small throw allows very fast direction change. But the same smallness restricts steering and makes the joystick feel disconnected in games like Skate Crazy where it only gives a fair degree of control. The smoothness of response is great for Renegade, and perfect waggle rhythm is a cinch to get going. The disparity of the design is difficult to get used to, and a sweaty session of waggling can make the stick very slippery.

Steve: I just couldn't decide how to hold this one.'

Miles: 'It looks quite natty and is a good all round joystick.'

Howard: 'It's a bit small for my tastes.'

Originally and economically designed, the Speedking is perfect for those who don't have a desk to lean on and don't sweat much while waggling.

TERMINATOR

Believe it or not this strange looking object really is a joystick. Shaped like a hand grenade (for the Rambo addicts?) this joystick is aimed more at the novelty and toy market rather than our serious 'executive' gamesplayer. The metallic fire button is the clip on the side, while the small Meccano stick juts out of the top. It sits well in your hand and is lighter than its explosive counterpart.

As a joystick it's pretty useless, a nightmare to use and makes you want to go "aaarrghhh!". The fire button is awkwardly positioned and is easy to press unintentionally. The stumpy stick is awful for precision and all movements have to be shoved into direction, although the diagonals are easy to obtain. Obviously an excellent novelty and gimic but not very useful as a serious tool.

Steve: 'The slippery stick is hideous and waggling is bleuuuch!'

Miles: 'I really couldn't get to grips with this one.'

Howard: 'I reckon you'd get arrested if you walked into a bank carrying this!'

Excellent 'macho' gimic that looks exactly like a grenade with a piece of Meccano stuck in the top. Absolutely rubbish as a joystick though.

VOLTMACE DELTA 3S

The old fashioned prehistoric design makes the Volt mace Delta an instant turn off, but it's not as bad as it looks. Shaped like a door wedge, the Delta has three fire buttons and a small orbiting stick. It's quite awkward to hold and is happier on a desk top. The three red base buttons are too far away and tiny - rather like TV remote control buttons. The stick is also too small and weedy making small turns and movements virtually impossible - to go anywhere you have to exaggerate the movements.

Changes in the direction and precision are easy because of the movable stick and the wide gap for movement, but the diagonals are spindly. Waggle-wise it performs surprisingly well and with the minimum cramp or restriction.

Steve: 'I wish I could say this is a pleasure to use - but it isn't.'

Miles: 'Urrggh! This one looks like a bar of Dairy Milk - shame you can't eat it!'

Howard: 'If you like waggling, you'll like this!'

Prehistoric design is not too attractive but it sits comfortably on your desk despite spindly diagonals and misplaced fire buttons. Comparatively outstanding at waggling.

VERDICT

It was a close thing with each reviewer snuggling up to their favourite sticks, and beating each other about the head with their not so favourite ones. But in the end the Cheetah 125+ scraped into first place, with the RAM Delta and Powerplay Cruiser coming second and third respectively, closely followed by the Konix Speedking and Quickshot 2.

The overall positioning was:

1. CHEETAH 125+
2. RAM Delta
3. POWERPLAY Cruiser
4. KONIX Speedking
5. SPECTRAV1DEO Quickshot 2
6. SUNCOM TAC 5
7. SUNCOM TAC 2
8. VOLTMACE Delta 3s
9. EUROMAX Pro-Ace
10. TERMINATOR

Now for the votes on the best and worst buys. Here's what the reviewers had to say and they mean that most sincerely folks!

STEVEN

BEST - Cheetah 125+ "Magnificent handling... brilliant fire buttons... a real treat."

WORST- Terminator "Aaarghhhhh... awful... my goldfish steers better than this."

MILES

BEST- RAM Delta 'Looked quite sexy... the knob was really nice... good and springy."

WORST- Terminator "Bleuchhh!... Terrible... Looks too much like a hand grenade and 1 didn't know to hold it."

HOWARD

BEST - Powerplay Cruiser 'Fits well in the hand... stands out... good stuff and the stick variable tension - wow!"

WORST - Terminator "Yicckkk!... a nightmare... it's bad, really, really bad."

1st Place
Supplier: Cheetah Marketing Ltd, Norbury House, Norbury Road, Fairwater, Cardiff CF5 3AS (Tel: 0222 555525)
Price: £12.99
Guarantee: 1 year
Features: A C D E F G

CHEETAH 125+
£8.99
Your Sinclair Best Buy

A fairly large, black plastic joystick modelled firmly along aircraft lines. It's nicely designed, with a comfortable handgrip, four well-placed fire buttons, autofire, twin leads (black for 48/128K with suitable interface, grey for +2 and +3) and even a non-slip effect around the base for extra grip. Unfortunately, this is slightly marred by the overall plasticy feel of the thing. That having been said, it proved to be one of the nicest to use and good value to boot! It comes with a 12 month warranty too so you should be okay. Recommended.

Jackie: Sticks well to the desk, but the shaft is a bit wibbly and loose. I like the grip effect and it's got loads of lovely fire buttons all over the place which means you can swop which ones you use and rest your hand.

David: Very light on the controls and quite responsive. Comes off the desk quite easily though because the base is a bit narrow. I'm slightly scared of the durability - it feels quite fragile.

Matt: I like the light touch - it's a lot less tiring if you're having a long session with a game. Very precise for shoot 'em ups, but not easy to waggle (none of these aircraft-style ones are). I found it stuck to the table okay, but it's got a very small base compared to how tall it is, so I could see a problem with leverage (ie it might pull off). I like it a lot, it's excellent value, but I'm concerned about how long it would last.

QUICKJOY V SUPERBOARD
£19.95

Ber-limey! Now this ain't just a joystick, it's an, erm, goodness knows what it is! It's gigantic for a start with a whopping base absolutely loaded up with gimmicks. In fact, all those buttons and switches only amount to an autofire option (with two speeds for the settings - the first one too slow to be of any use) and a stopwatch! What a disappointment. There's another massive things about it, of course. That's right - the price!

David: Now this is weird. I dunno, I like the feel of this stick - not too light like the Cheetah ones, but not too heavy either. The autofire doesn't seem to work... Oops, yes it does, I was just doing it wrong! (What a clot. Ed) Now let's try holding in my hand - lummey, it'd be easier holding a cello! But I suppose it's not designed for that, so it's a bit unfair to criticise. Autofire slow is a dead loss - you'd only ever use autofire fast so it's a waste of time. I'd never get one - it's just ridiculous!

Jackie: What do all these buttons do? (Nothing really. Ed) The point of having lots of fire buttons is that when your fingers get tired you can swop hands and use different ones, but here you can't because you have to choose which ones will be functional before you start playing! If you choose the ones on the stick, none of the others will function! Otherwise response is slow - and it pulls off the desk easily. Quite comfortable though.

Matt: It looks good but basically it's crap. It's ludicrously big, won't stay stuck to the desk and most of the gimmicks are useless. Why do you have to use a separate button to switch between the controls at the top of the stick and the ones at the bottom? And, as for the timer, well, have I boiled an egg yet?

QUICKJOY 2
£8.95

Another black and red job trying to look as much like part of an F-16 as possible. The Quickjoy 2 has two fire buttons mounted at the top of the stick (none on the base) and an autofire option. Reasonably priced, but a very average stick.

Jackie: Blimey! Steering's not very good! For some reason when I fire (She was playing Dragon Spirit, a vertically scrolling shoot 'em up when she wrote this. Ed) the dragon goes left automatically! Fire again and it goes left a bit more! Totally unplayable. When I try to go forward I go left too! Otherwise, it sits firmly on the desk and is comfortable to hold - I quite like it. I can only assume this is a faulty stick.

Matt: Not too bad to hold or have on the desk (sticks quite well) but the fact this one made the dragon go left all the time made it impossible to assess. I can only hope it isn't because the build quality is diabolical.

David: Very stiff trigger. Not very responsive - the shaft doesn't seem to move too well, even if it isn't doing that going left business. Nicer grip than the Superboard thing though.

QUICKJOY 2 TURBO
£10.95

Basically the same stick as the Quick joy 2, but this time with a stylish red base. The difference seems to be that this model operates with microswitches. Still, where Quickjoy does well is in getting the balance between stiffness and accuracy right. Despite the fact that the casing seems to be the same as the Quickjoy 2, this stick has a nice feel.

Jackie: This one goes forward and to the right when you push forward! What's going on?? I quite liked this at first but after a while my trigger finger got a bit hurt. I found the fire button on top of the stick hard to use. Generally slow response.

David: Unusually for Quickjoy this one feels really light and the fire buttons aren't as stiff as the normal Quickjoy 2. The grip on it isn't too bad either - for some reason it feels a lot better than the normal 2, though it looks just the same. A good, basic stick, and the best of the Quickjoys.

Matt: Feels a bit vague all round, and is ALMOST comfortable, but not quite - there isn't enough space given to your little finger. Probably my favourite of the Quickjoys though.

QUICKJOY 3 SUPERCHARGER
£12.99

A very swoopy, futuristic-looking joystick moulded in black and red. This one boasts exactly the same features as the Quickjoy 2 Turbo (auto fire, two fire buttons, 'ergonomic design', six microswitches and whatnot) so it's hard to see the point, especially when the handgrip proves to be far from comfortable. At £12.95 it's hard to see the appeal.

Jackie: It's a bit too chunky for me. I reach the trigger or fire buttons on the top - the shaft is just too big and fat. It's not very good at staying on the desk - the suckers slip. This is the third Quickjoy that's got some funny steering quirk. One this one when I pull backwards the dragon starts going left! (She's still playing Dragon Spirit. Ed) What's going on? Is it something to do with the Amstrad CPC 464 option-switch??

David: This is a bit of a bulky one. All the people at Quickjoy must have very big hands! It makes a horrible crunch sound when I move it - I don't think this'll have a very long life expectancy. I think the Quickjoys have the balance between lightness and resistance just right, but it's too fat for my hands as well.

Matt: Nope, far too fat. When I pull to the left or right the base of my hand hits the casing, and the fire buttons at the top aren't too easy to use either. I think David's right about the weighting though - the shaft inside feels good but the casing is terrible.

KONIX MEGABLASTER
£8.99

A conventionally designed but tiny little stick from Konix, featuring microswitch precision at quite a low price. It has a medium sized shaft with a fear leveer-like knob at the top, two fire buttons on the base and, erm, that's it...

David: Not really a desktop stick since it won't stick down, but I found it a bit awkward for hand use because it has little legs underneath that get in the way. Cheap and well built, but I don't really like it.

Jackie: Stick easily controlled with fingertips, but stiff fire buttons and it won't stay on the table (no suckers). Response of stick too slow. Easy to hold in either hand, but, again, it's all a bit stiff.

Matt: Easy to hold in either hand, but a bit too small all round I felt. Could do without the strange nobbles moulded into the base for no particular reason which make it really weird to hold. I didn't like the fire buttons much either.

POWERPLAY CRUISER
Black, Blue, Multi-coloured: £9.99
Clear (with autofire): £12.99
Your Sinclair Best Buy

This one's been around for ages, and is now in a choice of blue, natty black, clear and even multi-coloured models. The coloured one is sort of pastel green with a pink shaft, blue base and yellow buttons! All models have four good suckers spread wide apart on the bottom so it sticks to the desk very well, but you can hold it in your hand if you prefer quite easily. One of the stick's main selling points is that you can adjust the tension of the shaft to one of three degrees of tightness. You can set it to extra sensitivity, normal use or firm control (for waggling). The ease with which you can do this seemed to vary from stick to stick, but it's a useful feature. Recommended.

Matt: I'm amazed at how much I like this one. It's very old fashioned looking - even ugly - but it seems quite durable and does everything at least passably well. It's fairly precise for shoot 'em ups, it's possible to get a good waggle rhythm going and you can hold it for long periods without getting too uncomfortable. It sticks well to the desk too.

David: Actually, the reason it plays well when it's stuck to the desk is because of the large, flat base - it means the suckers are spread well apart for more grip. It's a dead loss to hold though - it's too big. having said that I like the Cruiser, even though it looks so horrible.

Jackie: It's good for shoot 'em ups because it sticks well to the desk, you can change hands easily when you're tired and the actual stick responds well. The green one is lovely and I'd have it as pride of place in my bedroom. Not so much a joystick, more a work of art(!).

QUICKSHIT WHIZZMASTER GAME CONTROLLER
£11.95

Excluding the Superboard, this was the only novelty stick we could get hold of. In fact it's quite a serious proposition. Basically, it's small, grey and flat, like a bloated version of the joypads you find attached to Japanese games consoles, but offering you a number of control options. For a start you can use it like a joypad, manipulating direction pad with your left hand thumb while you jab fire with your right. This may sound weird, but once you get used to it it can give more control than an ordinary stick.

Your other two options involve screwing short sticks of varying sizes into the pad - a tiny stumpy one for the thumb only (which we promptly lost) and a large (but still quite small) stick for fingertip manipulation. You also have the option of holding it or sticking it firmly to the desk, so at the very least you'd have hours of fun going through the various permutations. Comes with autofire and a one year warranty.

David: I was quite excited to see this because I like the keypad on the PC Engine, but unfortunately it's a bit bulky to grip. Hold it with your right hand and it wibbles about all over. The little plug-in joystick is useless. THis is the opposite extreme of a massive stick and a tiny base - a big base with a miniature stick and the fire button too far over on the other side.

Matt: This is quite hopeless when it's stuck to the desk, or with either of the pathetic little stick things in place, but holding it in both hands like a Nintendo keypad is a different story. It's a bit too bulky for that but I really like pad controls and this is the only one available for the Speccy. These things take some getting used to but for most games I think they're in fact better than joysticks.

Jackie: I totally disagree. if it's on the desk you have have the joystick on or your finger slips all over the place. With the autofire button on, the joystick in and the thing stuck firmly to the desk I like it. I don't like the pad - it gets too slippy and the but where a stick screws in hurts your thumb, but with the joystick it's very light and easy to control. You need autofire though because the fire buttons are too far from the stick.

KONIX SPEEDKING
Standard: £11.99
Autofire: £12.99

This unusual little one's been around for ages but some people still can't seem to work out how to hold it! in fact, nestling in the palm of the left hand with your index finger on the fire button underneath and your right hand operating the stick itself, you've got a neat (if sweaty) little device.

Matt: There's only really one way to hold it so you can't swop from hand to hand when you're getting tired. I quite like it, but the Navigator is a loot more comfortable for prolonged playing and worth considering splashing out the extra dosh for if you're a firm hand-held fan.

Jackie: The shaft's easy to move and you can change direction well, but because of the big chunky grip and awkwardly positioned fire button it makes your hand really ache. The design makes it impossible to change to the other hand, so it's no good at all for left handers.

CHEETAH CHALLENGER
£4.99

A small, conventionally styled bottom of the range model from Cheetah, with one fire button on the base and another on the top of the shaft. For all that it's a new design we thought it looked very plasticy and old fashioned. You can't carp though when it's only £4.99 - ludicrously cheap compared to some other sticks, and it does come with a one year warranty.

Jackie: Urgh! It's like something you'd buy off a market stall! It sticks well to the desk but the fire buttons are awkwardly placed and a bit stiff for a weak wibbly female like me. Seems quite strong though, and 'the price is right' after all.

David: It's not the Cheetah Challenger, it's the Cheetah Crap! It sounds awful, it looks awful, it won't go a long way. Hmm. It's basically a desk top job, but it doesn't stick as well as the Cruiser. The fire buttons are weird - there;'s one on the top instead of a nice trigger - and it's terrible to hand-hold. Cheap though.

Matt: Sticks well to the desk, but looks and feels horrible. The fire buttons are tacky and clicky, and the shaft feels stiff and unresponsive. A very awkward shape to hold. If this were a bit less tacky and a bit more comfortable it'd be a Best Buy.

CHEETAH STAR ROBE
£14.99

Another black, aeroplane-style stick with four red fire buttons and an autofire facility. It comes with a one year warranty and a dual head lead like all the bigger Cheetah sticks, but again feels a bit plasticy in construction. Try as we might though, we can't see how they can justify the fact that it's more costly than the (superior) 125+

Jackie: Another one of the Cheetahs that looks quite cheap. Fire buttons are well placed, apart from the trigger one that makes my finger ache, and the one at the top's a bit odd as well. Hmm. Perhaps they're not so well placed after all. It looks like it will split apart any second. It sticks decently to the desk and directional steering is quite good with very light controls again, but it's too big to hand-hold.

Matt: The look quite big and macho but I wonder about the durability of these Cheetah ones - the sticker's already peeling off and I've only just taken it out of the box! It's got quite a nice light feel again, and the fire buttons are good, except for the trigger which I found a bit too curved to be comfortable for my finger.

David: Not a bad stick, but not one I'd choose myself. I'm a bit heavy handed so I like something fairly sturdy. This is a bit too big and light for me.

CHEETAH MACH 1
£10.99

Blimey! Another joystick from Cheetah moulded in black and red with a metal shaft, autofire, four microswitch fire buttons and a one year warranty. Just like the 125+ and the Star Probe in fact! In general, the Cheetahs have very light controls, well placed fire buttons and feel like they might be very strong inside but they're let down by cheap outer casings. And this one's no exception! Why do they make so many similar sticks?

Jackie: Sits firmly on the desk, but the shaft slopes forward which is a bit disorientating. Pulling back and left and right is fine, but when you push forward it seems to go a long way before you get any effect which is weird. Fire buttons well placed for the right hand, but less so for the left.

Matt: Hmm. Sticks down quite well, and the autofire is good, but the placement of the other fire buttons is a bit weird. The normally-quite-useful trigger one is so small as to be almost useless! Good for flight sims though 'cos it's like a real aeroplane stick.

David A very popular stick - it's not too expensive and there are always loads for sale in input Output so lots of people have got them. To use the top fire button you have to take your thumb off the stick which loosens your grip, and the trigger one is far too small. A bit wide to hold, but it's light so it doesn't work too badly.

POWERPLAY CRYSTAL STANDARD
£14.99
Autofire: £16.99

A stylish transparent microswitched joystick with a large clear base and neat red handle. We tried the basic Crystal model, but it also comes in autofire form and in solid colours (red or green) for a couple of pounds less. It's probably the best looking of the clear sticks.

Jackie: It looks like my telephone! (Jack's got a transparent telephone at home, fact fans. Ed) The stick's a bit wibbly and loose on the base, the switches are quite stiff but it moves well. A bit small though and your fingers get tired after a while.

Matt: It looks really nice but I think the grippy handle is too small (and I don't even have very big hands)! The fire buttons feel funny to me too - they're stiff and tend to stick a bit after a while. All in all a good looking device, but to me it looks better than it plays and it's quite expensive.

David: This is weird. The way I hold it my thumb is on the fire button but the base of my hand gets in the way of the full joystick movement. I think it's a bit of a dodgy design - at least it isn't comfortable for the way I like to use a stick. I think it might break quite easily too.

COMPETITION PRO 5000
Black: £14.95
Clear: £15.95
Extra Clear with Autofire: £16.49

These three Competition Pros are basically the same stick, the Extra being a souped-up version of the standard thing with rapid fire and slow motion features. Each has a steel shaft with a large car-like gear knob on the top and two large microswitched fire buttons on the base. Although it can be used as a desk-mounted stick it lacks suckers, so it's probably best to hold it in your lap. For once it's a stick that feels as sturdy as it says it is on the packet. Good but pricey.

David: This is the one I've always played with at home, so I'm a bit biased but I find it very accurate and it has lasted for five years no trouble. My sister got a Quickshot 2 at the same time as me and it broke ages ago. What else can I say - it's a bit old fashioned, expensive and feels stiff when you first buy one, but I wouldn't play R-Type on any other joystick.

Jackie: This is David's favourite?? You can't have it on the desk 'cos there are no suckers and the shaft's too stiff to move easily. It's alright to hold with my right hand, but I can't grip it properly with my left and there's a big knob on the top that I don't know what to do with.

Matt: I find it a bit stiff, but David assures me it loosens up with age. It's definitely best hand-held - useless on a desk 'cos there are no suckers - and it feels like perhaps the most solid stick here.

KONIX NAVIGATOR
£14.99

A rather oddly shaped joystick to be held in the hand - some people likened it to a Star Trek phaser, others to a stumpy racing yacht complete with keel! Ideal for those without a desk to lean on or who simply like to sit away from the screen. The grip does have a tendency to get a bit wet if

a) you're a big fan of waggling games or
b) you suffer from sweaty hands.

Best of the sticks designed for hand use only, but ridiculously expensive for what it is.

Matt: This is one of my personal favourites because I like to hold a stick in my hand away from the desk and most of the larger ones are a bit awkward. We've had one in the office for ages and it's not broken yet! Definitely an advance over the Speedking which I was never quite sure how to hold, but isn't it a bit expensive for what it is?

David: it's obviously designed for you to hold in your hand (very tightly) but I find it's too bulky for that and it makes my mitts ache. The shaft's so small you're using your fingertips all the time.

Jackie: I really like it. It's small, light and you don't have to sit close to the screen to use it. Ideal if you've got small hands.

TIDINGS OF COMFORT AND JOYSTICKS

As we've no doubt pointed out about 20 times already this issue, Christmas is almost upon us, so what better time to take a good long gander at the wonderful world of joysticks? After all, they make an ideal stocking filler! (Or so LINDA BARKER thinks anyway.)

Not really knowing a massive amount about joysticks (it has to be said) I thought I'd check with a couple of my sources before embarking on this feature. What a waste of time - the only comprehensible (and non-indecent) answer I got went along the lines of "Um, er, um, they're those smelly things you light, aren't they?" Useless. Vowing to get a better class of source, I made my excuses and left. The research was all up to me.

Ahem. So where are we? Well, what with it being Christmas (the 21st time we've mentioned it this issue) and everything, we thought you'd be wondering what to ask good old Santa for this year. Well, how about a joystick? They really do make rather lovely little presents - not too extortionately priced (usually), made of spiffy red and black plastic (almost always) and just a nice size to wrap up too! The only problem is there are so many to choose from. Decisions, decisions. I hate 'em (and I'm sure you do too), so being incredibly kind-hearted souls we thought we'd save you the trouble of traipsing round all the stores. Now there's no need to work yourself into a hair-tearing ninny because you can't decide what to get, because we've done all the deciding for you. All you have to do is settle down, get yourself comfy and read on. (Hurrah!).

COMPETITION PRO 5000 BLACK (£14.95).
COMPETITION PRO PHANTOM (£14.95).
COMPETITION PRO GOAL (£14.95).
COMPETITION PRO 5000 CLEAR (£15.95).
COMPETITION PRO 5000 EXTRA, RED GLOW AND GREEN GLOW (£17.50)

The Competition Pro 5000 is the one that we generally use in the office. It's a good medium sort of size and simple in design - a car gear lever-like shaft with a knob on the top, and two big fire buttons on the base, all finished in ubiquitous red and black. Some may think it looks a bit old-fashioned, but I like it - there's no fuss and pretension here. It's been around a while (eight years or so) and is still popular, probably because it's so durable (the shaft's steel-plated, you see).

Seeing as it's the one that's almost always plugged into our office Speccy it's been the standard I've been judging the others by. All versions of the stick come with microswitches on the fire buttons and a two-year guarantee, no suckers though (so desktop work isn't too hot) but the more expensive ones get autofire and slow motion features. It's easy to get to grips with and a good shape to hold but (but! But!) one problem - the stick's too stiff for me and doesn't waggle enough. They loosen up with age apparently (and tend to be fairly unbreakable) so perhaps that's worth putting up with however.

Of course, if you're bored of black and red (and if you're not now, you will be by the end of this feature) you can get the same basic design finished in different ways. The Phantom is a ghostly white ('startling', according to the packaging), with a black handle and fire buttons (very stylish), while the World Cup series comes in ten different colour combinations for different teams. We've got the England one (a white body with red buttons and stick) but more exciting is Brazil - green and yellow. Ideal for Kick Off II!

What else? Well, the Clear is, as you might expect, clear (so you can see all the wires and nice little gold bits inside) while the 'Glow Style' Extras are a sort of transparent luminous acid green or pink. Nice and bright, but really worth the extra three quid!? (I think not.)

CHEETAH 125+ (£8.99)

Britain's favourite for five years apparently. Another nice twin-lead-equipped one (black for 48/128K with suitable interface, grey for +2/+3) with autofire but no metal shaft. Still, it's got a 12-month warranty, is aeroplane-styled but at least of a reasonable size, comes with loads of fire buttons, a comfortable hand grip and is really quite responsive. Some questions about durability perhaps, and the suckers are too close together for it to be all that firm on the desk, but it's very (very) good value indeed. As good as any of the other aeroplane-style sticks (and bags cheaper to boot) it has to be a best buy.

LINDA'S PICK OF THE STICKS

So there you have it. After much debate and deliberation in the office (and a fair amount of arguing) we've managed to narrow it down to the top three. (Or at least, I have.) Here we go...

1) POWERPLAY CRUISER (in black)
A nice shape, well-built, a good price and oh-so-sexy in black. A bit of a winner all-round really.

2) KONIX NAVIGATOR
Quite well-built, small and futuristic-looking, and ideal for when you haven't a table to lean on (or don't want to anyway). Quite expensive for what it is though.

3) = COMPO PRO 5000
Super-sturdy and quite accurate - worth the high(ish) price.

3) = CHEETAH 125+
Accurate and comfortable, if a bit cheap looking in the plastic casing stakes. Very good value though.

Now all you need to do is a) ring the one you want, b) leave this issue innocently lying around the house (open at these pages of course) and c) hope that someone with a bit of money takes the hint! Merry Christmas, everybody!

ONE JOYSTICK'S THE SAME AS ANOTHER ISN'T IT? NO. WHY? BECAUSE GRAHAM TAYLOR SAYS THAT'S THE WAY IT IS!

Well you just yank it don' you, I mean sometimes you stab it wiv your fumb as well but das about it reely. Is there such a thing as a cool joystick? What particular piece of plastic will most perfectly set off your Georgio Armani lime green California casuals. If Crockett and Tubbs bust aliens instead of cars what would be the piece of plastic for them?

When it comes to joysticks there are as many opinions as there are frazzled aliens. Ain't nobody gonna be damn fool enough to pretend that it's possible to do some sort of definitive/objective analysis. So what we have here is a mixture of fact and faction. Actually reading between the lines will probably reveal some deep-seated and dodgy details about the reviewer.

THE RATING SYSTEM

KILL FACTOR: A general purpose term implying how responsive the joystick is to your slightest movement. Responsive equals alien deaths.

DEFENSIVE SYSTEMS: Can the thing take the strain? Is it going to fall apart in five minutes if the going gets rough?

LOOKS CAM KILL: Is it stylish? Is it easy to grip? If it were a car would it be Ferrari Daytona or a dumper truck? This section is almost totally biased.

OVERALL COOL: The lot totalled up, fiddled with, adjusted and generally mutated to give a definitive overall impression of the total joystick concept.

125+

Budget offering. Leaf switches but lots of features like autofire. Also a 128K +2 option.

KILL FACTOR
Fairly responsive with surprisingly good fire buttons for a non microswitch offering but definitely lacks the edge some of the more expensive offerings.

DEFENSIVE SYSTEMS
Cheap. Not likely to last years and years but reasonably strong given the budget price tag. For 128K +2 owners it's definitely better than the official Amstrad offering.

LOOKS CAN KILL
Nice grip and standard red/black colour combination. It's been selling very well so I guess it passes some sort of popularity test. Conventional but OK.

OVERALL COOL
One of the best budget sticks. Good response but what you save on money is paid for by durability.

PRICE: £8.95