MACHINES: All major makes.
MAKER: Euromax, Pinfold Lane, Bridlington, North Humberside
PRICE: £11.95

For some strange reason the Pro Ace is very pleasing to look at. I just happen to like the black matt finish set off by the rather big red (no pun intended) fire button.

But that's about all there is really. The whole thing is sturdily built and will no doubt last but was almost immobile, making response time quite slow.

The whole thing was also a little uncomfortable to hold in the hand, all angular edges jutting into the palm. A miss with the jury.

THE JOY OF STICKS

We've waggled our way through the joystick jungle to bring you the latest on the firepower of ten top joysticks.

If you're a real games addict you'll know how important a good joystick is. Games have moved on a bit since Pacman and Space Invaders where all you had to do was move left and right and blast the fire button every now and again. Then you could use the same joystick for all the seven games on the market.

Nowadays, however, computer games are much more demanding and varied - shoot 'em ups, beat 'em ups, fly 'em ups, waggle 'em ups, steer 'em ups and even fry 'em ups - they all need differing degrees of precision, manoeuvrability and strength. Which is why you need a damn good joystick for the job - and there are plenty to choose from. So there's no excuse for a bad game player to blame his tools!

But which joystick is best for the games you play? Which joystick do you choose? There are thousands. And you've only got twenty quid.

Well, it just so happens that we've got a run-down on 10 of the most popular sticks on the market - read on to find out which one covers your every need.

THE GAMES

A joystick's performance varies considerably from game to game. The precise movements needed in a martial arts game become redundant in an out and out waggle 'em up. And then, the strength and slackness of one stick might not help in a steering game where full control and manoeuvrability is necessary. So, in order to test the joysticks fully, we chose three different titles to strain those sticks to the limit. Target Renegade tests for precision, Daley Thompson's Olympic Challenge for strength and Skate Crazy for manoeuvrability. And to make the contest even harder we asked three hot gamesplayers to give us their opinions on which sticks they preferred.

TARGET RENEGADE

A beefy beat 'em up. All that punching and kicking and butting requires a stick with easy access to diagonals and fire buttons, plus the ability to move slightly and quickly in any direction.

SKATE CRAZY

A loose and bouncy roller skate game, needing a combination of ease-of-movement and well positioned fire buttons for that sudden leap. A stick for this game will also need a strong shaft to resist those frantic circular steering motions.

DALEY THOMPSON'S OLYMPIC CHALLENGE

The meanest, the baddest and the toughest waggle 'em up in existence. The constant waggling environment requires a stick with excellent strength and good speed, coupled with a sturdy desk hold and well contoured grip.

THE JURY

Yes, solemn of face, tough of opinion, stingy of money, and ravenous of hunger, here are the three jury members, unswayable by money (or cheeseburger), ready to deliver their verdicts on the guilty sharp sticks.

STEVEN BREWER

Age: 16
Sex: Male
Dist Features: Inane grin
Computers: Speccy, QL
Fave Rave: Gauntlet
Hobbies: Grinning inanely, being enthusiastic about nothing
Fave Music: U2

MILES TUDOR

Age: 16
Sex: Twice a... (Snip. Ed)
Dist Features: Bloodshot, knackered eyes
Computers: I ain't got one, but if anybody's offerin'?
Fave Rave: Target Renegade
Hobbies: Sheep-spotting, train-spotting, spot-picking
Fave Music: Prince

HOWARD KING

Age: 16
Sex: Male
Dist Features: 'boyish good looks' Spluuter!
Computers: Speccy 48K
Fave Rave: Robin O' the Wood
Hobbies: Boasting about his handicap (gold), kicking the dog 'bout a bit'
Fave Music: Queen

SPECTRAVIDEO QUICKSHOT 2

The Quickshot 2 is the father of most joysticks today, but its age does not show in its design. It has a square base, and a wide, sharply contoured handle as well as three fire buttons and an auto fire switch. It's four suckers stick relentlessly to any surface. The shaft is long and loose, which provides a fairly slowish response. The diagonals are difficult to locate in a hurry and it can't handle double movements (such as flying kicks) too well. It excels waggle-wise and the auto-fire switch is easily flicked on by the wrist. But despite all these faults, it works remarkably well in all games.

Steve: 'Its slackness click irritated the hell out of my moody sister.'

Miles: 'One old timer that's still up there with the new ones.'

Howard: 'Ooh I'm a sucker for the suckers!'

A little slow, a little temperamental, a little noisy - but what do you expect from a four year old joystick? Recommended.

SUNCOM TAC 5

Now here's a very striking joystick - its beige and grey colouring is very chic, good-looking and elegant. The bulky square base sits on four studs and its size makes it unmoveably solid on a desk top even during savage waggling. There are three fire buttons. The stick moves with a very distinctive microswitch click that would annoy your parents and dogs.

Movement is pretty good. The diagonals are excellent and there when you want them, although the stick does twist disconcertingly when you move it. It shines in all four departments but the granulated grip is a little too soft.

Steve: 'I felt in full control when using this one. Great stuff.'

Miles: 'Though it looks very "Habitat" I didn't find it very responsive.'

Howard: 'I sweated so much the red directional marks rubbed off and I thought id cut myself!'

Extremely attractive number with solid build, good diagonals and response. Annoying microswitch click, impotent fire button positioning and rub-off-when-wet paint let it down a little. Recommended.

CHEETAH 125+3

The design of this joystick is very authentic, attractive and similar to the Quickshot 2. The base is robust and granulated for extra grip. It has four fire buttons. The stick, however, looks very plasticy and the seams were bluntly evident.

The wide grip and tight throw allow magnificent handling although its size tends to make delicate or slight movements tricky. It responds quickly and smoothly especially in abrupt direction changes, despite the loud groans the stick emits under stress. Precision is perfect but in waggle-'em-ups, the stiffness of the stick prevents a good fast momentum. And it is simply perfect for games requiring manoeuvrability.

Steve: 'The Cheetah 125+3 is the one for me - it's a beauty to handle!'

Miles: 'I found this stick particularly useful in Skate Crazy which requires a lot of direction changes.'

Howard: 'If only it would waggle better!'

Outstanding all round joystick, authentically designed, furiously responsive, unbeatable steering but disappointing waggle-ratio. Recommended.

POWERPLAY CRUISER

The Cruiser is an instantly appealing and very attractive joystick, with its blue curved base, two-deep set white base buttons, and red standard stick. It rests solidly on four suckers on any desk top, but the curved design also suits the hand.

The feature that really makes this joystick is the variable tension feature that allows you to select one of three degrees of tightness. The fire buttons are very well placed and click responsively. Diagonals are easy to find and direction changes are good.

Adjusting the tension to number two helped in games requiring manoeuvrability, and as for waggling, number three seemed the best. The tightest tension (number one) worked best with Renegade. One of the less muscle-bound reviewers observed that the way you changed the tension (lifting then turning the stick) was quite difficult and a weak and feeble gamesplayer may find it a touch difficult.

Steve: 'I'm a wimp so I found changing the tension awkward - I was so tired I couldn't play the game.'

Miles: 'Not a bad little number for the all round gamesplayer. Worth, the money!'

Howard: 'This is my top stick. It caters for everything and looks neat too!'

Noisy but powerful joystick with unique variable tension option and multi-coloured "spaceship" look. Recommended.

RAM DELTA

The RAM Delia's design is very distinctive, futuristic and angular. The base is shaped like the front of a car while the shaft looks like a gear-stick. It's supported on three suckers placed at each corner, but holds just as well in the palm of your hand. Unfortunately it's shortness restricts precision, especially during hectic Renegade combat.

Response is very polished and light, and the microswitches make the direction changes quick and substantial. While waggling, the small throw (the distance the stick moves in any direction) of the stick creates a good rhythm, but excess exertion leads to a sweaty slippery grip. All directional movements are springy, and the clicks of the switches are quiet and unobtrusive, yet loud enough to indicate when you had forced the joystick far enough.

Steve: 'I liked the design but found handling a little awkward.'

Miles: 'This one is definitely my favourite - I've never gripped such a nice stick!'

Howard: 'Control is superb - and I loved those suckers!'

Superb sculptured joystick, dedicated to those who like looks, body and character in their sticks. Recommended.

EUROMAX PRO-ACE

The Pro-Ace is a sturdy-based joystick with a long slender shaft and two fire buttons. The shaft is good and stiff but feels rather flimsy - as if it might break off at any moment. The lack of suckers and a firm base make it rock drunkenly on the desk during any frantic action.

The fire buttons, however, are well placed and responsive. The throw is microscopic and renders waggling virtually useless. Described as emphatically pedestrian (What?? Ed) the Pro-ace steers quite well considering the limited throw, but the diagonals have to be forced and the shaft is too long for the field of Renegade movement.

Steve: 'Not bad, not bad! I've used a better tool though!'

Miles: 'Nice looking stick this - and it handles well too!'

Howard: 'Cor this is rather good. I quite like it.'

A stiff and flimsy affair, which rocks on the table and reacts very slowly. Steers well though.

SUNCOM TAC 2

This small, square based joystick is the most solid on a desk top, and is compact, durable and quite rugged. It has two buttons The stick only moves slightly in each direction but triggers first-rate responses. However this light operation is let down by the overly (or underly) short shaft.

The sensitivity is excellent and made both steering and diagonals a piece of cake. After a bout of waggling though, the handle became quite wet and one of the more sensitive reviewers suffered from a sore thumb after a heavy game of Renegade.

Steve: 'This one was in a class of its own in playing Skate Crazy.'

Miles: 'Not as good as the Suncom Tac 2 I'm afraid.'

Howard: 'Tac is an apt name 'cos it's one of the tackiest objects I've seen.'

Sturdy solid joystick, attractively metal-plated, is not so hot precision-wise but practically boiling in the steering field.

KONIX SPEEDKING

This unusually shaped joystick looks a little like a lost jigsaw piece and half a pelvis. It's very well designed for a hand held grip but so does not sit easily on the desk. The stick is a short red affair in arcade-machine stumpy style and is microswitched.

It slides quickly into diagonal position and the small throw allows very fast direction change. But the same smallness restricts steering and makes the joystick feel disconnected in games like Skate Crazy where it only gives a fair degree of control. The smoothness of response is great for Renegade, and perfect waggle rhythm is a cinch to get going. The disparity of the design is difficult to get used to, and a sweaty session of waggling can make the stick very slippery.

Steve: I just couldn't decide how to hold this one.'

Miles: 'It looks quite natty and is a good all round joystick.'

Howard: 'It's a bit small for my tastes.'

Originally and economically designed, the Speedking is perfect for those who don't have a desk to lean on and don't sweat much while waggling.

TERMINATOR

Believe it or not this strange looking object really is a joystick. Shaped like a hand grenade (for the Rambo addicts?) this joystick is aimed more at the novelty and toy market rather than our serious 'executive' gamesplayer. The metallic fire button is the clip on the side, while the small Meccano stick juts out of the top. It sits well in your hand and is lighter than its explosive counterpart.

As a joystick it's pretty useless, a nightmare to use and makes you want to go "aaarrghhh!". The fire button is awkwardly positioned and is easy to press unintentionally. The stumpy stick is awful for precision and all movements have to be shoved into direction, although the diagonals are easy to obtain. Obviously an excellent novelty and gimic but not very useful as a serious tool.

Steve: 'The slippery stick is hideous and waggling is bleuuuch!'

Miles: 'I really couldn't get to grips with this one.'

Howard: 'I reckon you'd get arrested if you walked into a bank carrying this!'

Excellent 'macho' gimic that looks exactly like a grenade with a piece of Meccano stuck in the top. Absolutely rubbish as a joystick though.

VOLTMACE DELTA 3S

The old fashioned prehistoric design makes the Volt mace Delta an instant turn off, but it's not as bad as it looks. Shaped like a door wedge, the Delta has three fire buttons and a small orbiting stick. It's quite awkward to hold and is happier on a desk top. The three red base buttons are too far away and tiny - rather like TV remote control buttons. The stick is also too small and weedy making small turns and movements virtually impossible - to go anywhere you have to exaggerate the movements.

Changes in the direction and precision are easy because of the movable stick and the wide gap for movement, but the diagonals are spindly. Waggle-wise it performs surprisingly well and with the minimum cramp or restriction.

Steve: 'I wish I could say this is a pleasure to use - but it isn't.'

Miles: 'Urrggh! This one looks like a bar of Dairy Milk - shame you can't eat it!'

Howard: 'If you like waggling, you'll like this!'

Prehistoric design is not too attractive but it sits comfortably on your desk despite spindly diagonals and misplaced fire buttons. Comparatively outstanding at waggling.

VERDICT

It was a close thing with each reviewer snuggling up to their favourite sticks, and beating each other about the head with their not so favourite ones. But in the end the Cheetah 125+ scraped into first place, with the RAM Delta and Powerplay Cruiser coming second and third respectively, closely followed by the Konix Speedking and Quickshot 2.

The overall positioning was:

1. CHEETAH 125+
2. RAM Delta
3. POWERPLAY Cruiser
4. KONIX Speedking
5. SPECTRAV1DEO Quickshot 2
6. SUNCOM TAC 5
7. SUNCOM TAC 2
8. VOLTMACE Delta 3s
9. EUROMAX Pro-Ace
10. TERMINATOR

Now for the votes on the best and worst buys. Here's what the reviewers had to say and they mean that most sincerely folks!

STEVEN

BEST - Cheetah 125+ "Magnificent handling... brilliant fire buttons... a real treat."

WORST- Terminator "Aaarghhhhh... awful... my goldfish steers better than this."

MILES

BEST- RAM Delta 'Looked quite sexy... the knob was really nice... good and springy."

WORST- Terminator "Bleuchhh!... Terrible... Looks too much like a hand grenade and 1 didn't know to hold it."

HOWARD

BEST - Powerplay Cruiser 'Fits well in the hand... stands out... good stuff and the stick variable tension - wow!"

WORST - Terminator "Yicckkk!... a nightmare... it's bad, really, really bad."

1st Place
Supplier: Cheetah Marketing Ltd, Norbury House, Norbury Road, Fairwater, Cardiff CF5 3AS (Tel: 0222 555525)
Price: £12.99
Guarantee: 1 year
Features: A C D E F G

ONE JOYSTICK'S THE SAME AS ANOTHER ISN'T IT? NO. WHY? BECAUSE GRAHAM TAYLOR SAYS THAT'S THE WAY IT IS!

Well you just yank it don' you, I mean sometimes you stab it wiv your fumb as well but das about it reely. Is there such a thing as a cool joystick? What particular piece of plastic will most perfectly set off your Georgio Armani lime green California casuals. If Crockett and Tubbs bust aliens instead of cars what would be the piece of plastic for them?

When it comes to joysticks there are as many opinions as there are frazzled aliens. Ain't nobody gonna be damn fool enough to pretend that it's possible to do some sort of definitive/objective analysis. So what we have here is a mixture of fact and faction. Actually reading between the lines will probably reveal some deep-seated and dodgy details about the reviewer.

THE RATING SYSTEM

KILL FACTOR: A general purpose term implying how responsive the joystick is to your slightest movement. Responsive equals alien deaths.

DEFENSIVE SYSTEMS: Can the thing take the strain? Is it going to fall apart in five minutes if the going gets rough?

LOOKS CAM KILL: Is it stylish? Is it easy to grip? If it were a car would it be Ferrari Daytona or a dumper truck? This section is almost totally biased.

OVERALL COOL: The lot totalled up, fiddled with, adjusted and generally mutated to give a definitive overall impression of the total joystick concept.

PRO ACE

Leaf switches and a single fire button. Fairly conventional design otherwise.

KILL FACTOR
Sluggish. Time to eat several cheese sandwiches and drink numerous cups to tea whilst waiting for your ship to move from one side of the screen to the other. The fault I think of its ultra-rigid construction. Fire button moves very little and lacks 'bounce'.

DEFENSIVE SYSTEMS
Ordinarily leaf switches mean bad news in terms of reliability but the Pro Ace is so rigidly constructed that it ought to last for ages.

LOOKS CAN KILL
Very average. Big rectangular fire buttons definitely don't look cool and I always find joysticks with the ball on the end of a stick design' a bit silly-looking. Base-mounted fire button and therefore tiring.

OVERALL COOL
A reliable leaf switch but not much fun to use and the little white directional arrows around the shaft base are as passe as fuzzy dice and nodding head dogs.

PRICE: £11.95

BATTLEFIELD JOYSTICK

Joysticks are your most immediate connection with any game you play - the man-machine interface. The melting joystick makes a nice image for an advertiser who's suggesting that his games can beat anything, but do joysticks in real life really stand up to the beating they receive, are they tough enough for the job, do they move well, are the handles right, will the buttons fire?

The CRASH reviewing team settled down for a weekend of joystick bashing on several types and makes, and here we look at the results...

There are now many makes of joystick available, and almost as many types as there are makes. Each boasts design innovations so that it is better than all the others - and they come in a range of prices too. We all know that joysticks on arcade machines take a battering, so too do those at home. Do they stand up? We tested 19 joysticks from well known manufacturers to see how they all compared.

A joystick must be able to withstand games that require fast and repeated movement, so what better than Ocean's Daley Thompson's Decathlon? We used the Commodore version of the game because it is more violent than the Spectrum! But it isn't only toughness; joysticks must also be capable of fine and positive movement, comfortable to use with sensible fire buttons. Several arcade skill games were used to test four major points for both the stick action and the fire button action.

TRAVEL means the maximum movement between opposite poles (e.g. up/down) on the stick, and how far the fire button had to be depressed. On stick action over 1.5 inches was considered to be very long. Oddly, some of the short sticks had longer to travel than the taller sticks.

ACTION FORCE means the amount of hand or finger pressure required to keep the stick pressed over or the fire button down.

REACTION SPEED indicates how fast contact is made, how quickly the action affects the game, and how well rapid movements can be made (especially rapid fire buttons).

RESPONSE/FEEDBACK indicates how positive the stick or fire action feels and whether there is any physical or audible feedback to tell the player that contact has been made.

ERGONOMICS how useful is the stick for hand held playing, and how well does it operate on a table top. Is the stick well designed for comfort, ease of fire action and general stability.

After preliminary testing, the joysticks all went through ten minutes of the Decathlon to see how long they were likely to stand up to use. During this test, some joysticks broke.

Finally, all the sticks have 9 pin D connectors and are Atari compatible on the pin outs. They all need an interface of one sort or another to work with the Spectrum (except the clip-ons). Some offer 2 independent fire actions, but these only work with either a Cambridge interface or the programmable Comcon from Frei Ltd., which was the interface used for this test.

Each joystick review is split into two halves; firstly a brief technical breakdown; secondly the review team's report.

PRO ACE

Supplier: Sumklock Microware, 198 Deansgate, Manchester M3 3NE, Tel (061)1334 4233

Price: £12.95

Lever Action: Strong plastic handle suspended between two plastic bushes. Central copper star acting as self-centering spring and contacting 4 copper rivets

Fire Action: Oblong fire button at 12 o'clock operating copper contact switch. Trigger button at tip of stick activates copper plate contact.

Ergonomics: Average size easy grip enclosure for handheld operation. Rubber feet for table operation. Left and righthanders welcome.

Lead: Plastic moulded D connector and retaining grommet.

Weak point: Copper contact star can weaken and deform. Soft copper contact surface creates dust and can oxidise if not used over long period.

STICK ACTION

Travel: long
Action force: very hard
Reaction speed: slow
Response/feedback: very poor and irregular - updown was not too bad but left/right was terrible, and a lot of slack

FIRE ACTION

Travel: long on stick button, very long on base button. Action force: medium.
Reaction speed: poor
Response/feedback: poor, no indication or 'feel'; rather rubbery.

Ergonomics: the shaped base fits the hand well with a well positioned left or right hand base fire button, but very unstable on a table top, especially with the sticky travel. The long thin stick is quite comfortable to hold.

Life expectancy: top fire button pulls out too easily, the copper contacts bend out of shape easily with use, causing erratic response. The general stick response and travel means that the handle will take a beating on hard, fast games.