BARGAIN BASEMENT

Torch? Check. Helmet? Check. Ability to write incredibly informative and witty reviews? Check. (Sort of.) Say hello to RICH PELLEY & JON PILLAR.

Alternative
£2.99
Reviewer: Rich Pelley

The title to this one reveals that this is a compilation of four games loosely based on famous horror thingies. The screenshots and captions on the back of the inlay reinforce this by actually telling you that you get The Rocky Horror Show, Nosferatu The Vampyre, N.E.I.L. Android and The Astonishing Adventures Mr. Weems And The She Vampires. What it doesn't tell you though (unless it's in ridiculously small print) that none of the games are actually any cop.

Nosferatu is a well-programmed and nice-looking 3D isometric game in a Head Over Heels mould, but falls down rather badly due to the lack of any decent puzzles to solve. Neil Android is another 3D game, and probably the only 3D isometric game to actually be a shoot-'em-up - you have to walk around shooting aliens, which seems fun at first but the novelty wears off far, far too quickly. And then theres She Vampires, a rather chronic and dated Gauntlet clone which is harder to play than trying to get a good quality ring in Ratners. And then there's The Rocky Horror Show, an absolutely antique 3D (ish) arcade adventure (circa 1985) featuring unnervingly bad graphics and absolutely no game whatsoever. This would be the traditional duffer of the pack, if it wasn't for the fact that, well, all the games are duffers really.

You could look at it and think "Well, I'm only paying around 70 pence per game", in which case it looks like a bit of a bargain. But than you begin to wonder why they're selling these games off so cheap. It's because they're all somewhat rubbish. I'd say that you'd be much better off buying one better budget game instead, or alternatively 299 Cola bottle chews or even those really nice aniseed ones which make your mouth go all black. (My fave! Ed)