Impressions
£9.99/£14.99

This isn't a World Cup game, but there's plenty of soccer action and our mate Ken pops up now and again in his managerial capacity to offer advice. Sadly Ken's advice is of little use. You start the game by choosing the number of teams playing (1- 4), the game speed (normal or fast), the name of the teams participating, the skill level (1-9) and finally the game length. 10, 20, 40 or 90 minutes are on offer - and you're advised go for the 10 minute option!

You're then whisked to the pitch where your players (and the opposition) stand waiting for the whistle. The game is seen a side-on with the players moving from left to right. As with most footy games the controlled player is highlighted by an arrow.

The computer picks the player nearest the ball, and this very often causes much frustration when an opposing player moves off screen and the computer takes several seconds to decide which players you should take control of! Aaargh!

Kenny Dalglish Soccer Match didn't impress me in the least, the stupid comments made by Kenny at the start and end of the game are only matched by the useless players. They all resemble pot bellied dwarves who wander to the side of the pitch when not watched closely. And as for the ball! Most of the time it simply trails behind the player in control. Even when it seemed some control was gained the player regularly lost the ball for no readily apparent reason. Take my advice, save your money and stick to watching The Manageress on TV.

MARK [40%]

I've just about had enough of football. And now to add insult to injury Kenny Dalglish Soccer Match is here. Twenty two deformed hunchbacks hobble around a green expanse of play area with no apparent purpose. With the likes of Matchday II I'd thought the days of computer players standing in a corner with dubious intent was past, but this game reintroduces that nasty 'feature'. And as for Kenny appearing throughout the game with his useless advise, give me Matchday II anytime.
NICK [44%]

Impressions
£9.99 cass/£14.99 disk
Reviewer: Kati Hamza

In the world of football it's a well-known fact that Kenny Dalglish is magic. In fact, there are some who believe that there's absolutely nothing this stonking great giant among footballers cannot do. He's up there at the top of the first division, Scotland's most capped player ever, and a corking good manager to boot. At the end of the day he's just basically your all-round Mr Marvellous, one of the greatest toe-pokers ever known to man.

Right, that's the crawling over with, now to the game in hand. On paper this, the second of a trio of Kenny capers, sounds like simplicity itself. Note the operative word there - "sounds". It kicks off with several natty piccies of Mr Magic, holy of holies, offering you a positive plethora of sporting options. Up to four friendly footie fans, each kitted out in one of nine difficulty levels, can take part in matches, which last anything from ten to ninety minutes. There are two default teams, the reds, Kenny's, and the blues (the opposition),though as the whole shenanigans comes in a cool, crisp shade of monochrome you can't really tell them apart. Still- nice to see a bit of consideration for the color-blind.

But hold it! There's just one more thing before the whistle blows - a quick word from the Scottish Spitfire himself. Kenny lets out a few gems of worldly wisdom, meaningful things like "Play fair, but hard", before sending you out on the astro-turf to get your hairy shins kicked in. 'Ere we go!

The first thing you notice is the pitch. Basically it's a weird horizontally-scrolling rectangle of turf which takes up about a third of the screen and lurches up and down a bit just for good measure. The second thing you notice is the players. Twiglets. They look like they've just recovered from a six-month hunger strike. And they run like it too, poor lads.

Control passes automatically to the stickman nearest the ball. On the kick-list are flicks, chops and three different lengths of pass, and that's it! Dribbling is mostly a case of the ball sticking to the foot, unless you make any hasty moves, in which case the leather bladder just rolls away. Yikes! Fouls aren't recognised, but corners and throw ins are, and if you score there's the added bonus of a jubilant picette of Kenny giving you the imperial thumbs up.

It doesn't take a degree in shin pad maintenance to telly you that this'd be footie action at its most rudimentary, even if it worked. It doesn't. For a start the ball is a lot more intelligent than the computer players. For reasons presumably known only to itself, it occasionally veers off at 90 degree angles and travels so slowly when you throw it in that you've got time to run into the pitch and catch it yourself. Very bizarre.

Aha, but there's still hope if you want to win. I managed to score three goals just dribbling up to the goal and tapping it in. Skill? I nearly saw some once.

Like I said before, Kenny Dalglish is magic. "I honestly believe he has been blessed," Don Revie said of him once. So it's official. Kenny Dalglish is holy and everything he touches turns to gold. And from that I can draw only one conclusion. He never touched Kenny Dalglish Soccer Match.

Here they come, here they come, here they come! As predictable as rain at Wimbledon, the deluge of footy games make it through the tunnel (just) in time for the World Cup. Just like the Biggest Match, there can only be one eventual winner. So who, at the end of the day, will emerge with the shiny gold goblet and who, will be saying "Well, our marketing gameplan was sound, but the programmers didn't really give 100%. And it was an awfully partisan crowd"...

Label: Impressions
Price: £8.99
Reviewer: Jim Douglas

Kenny Dalglish Soccer Match, claims the box-blurb, "is football arcade action at its very best". Since it's actually one of the least enjoyable games I've played recently, I'm afraid that I'll have to scotch this.

Had they said it was 'football arcade action which isn't bad" or "football arcade action which has some dodgy bits", I could have stomached it. Best? Non.

The U.S.P. (unique selling point) of Kenny Dalglish Soccer Match is, of course, Ken himself. Ken leads you through the menus. He gives you tips on play. Throughout the game, pics of Ken flip up to indicate triumph (if you score) and despair (they score). These are perfectly fine, and in fact rather good. The idea of King Ken giving you playing tips strikes me as pretty cool. It all seems a bit arbitrary, though. Things like "We must win" don't really explain that much.

The player currently under your control carries a big arrow over his head. In theory, the machine is supposed to select the one nearest the ball, but I often found my precision set-pieces were dashed because I was controlling the wrong man.

While the frills are fine, the bulk of the game is awfully dull. For a start, all the players run around at the same speed. This leads to huge processions of equally paced players trailing along after the ball.

Since the teams are either black or nearly black, a big mass of players all scrambling all over the ball gets darned confusing. In the ball is out of sight for much of the game.

The inertia on the ball is thoroughly unsatisfactory. It zooms along while airborne, but stops as if it's landed on a bit of velcro as soon as it hits the ground.

The kick itself, though, is fine. Hold the fire button down, and move the joystick to a certain position to select your shot; flicks, chips and long lobs are all available and there is some definite skill involved in making progress up the field.

Kenny Dalglish Soccer Match, with all its options for team skill, match duration, digitised pictures and (occasionally useful) advice from the man himself, scores high on frills but low on actual, basic fun.

Spectrum £9.99

In TGM018, we reviewed Kenny Daiglish Soccer Manager, on Impression's Cognito label. Now it's straight down to the match itself. Up to four players can compete in a mini-league of matches of ten, 20, 40 or 90 minutes duration, at normal or fast speed and, if playing against the computer, playing at one of nine skill levels.

The pitch is simply indicated by line markings yet scrolling, though fast, is still jerky. Sprites are small and old fashioned, with curious fat bellies and, apart from their eyes, completely black heads. Although their movement is fine, apart from non-controlled players dashing back and forth like madmen, the ball isn't, ignoring laws of momentum and categorically refusing to bounce.

Effects are simple but the music's not bad. Apart from the Kick Off-style free-running ball (ie it doesn't stick magically to players' feet), Kenny Dalglish Soccer Match is a plain and old fashioned game, whose look is more basic than the original Match Day. With it being a World Cup year, it's best to look at the other football games flooding the market before parting with your cash.