Grandslam score an own goal!
Producer: Grandslam
Cup Tickets: £8.95 cass
Author: Teque
Away man, Peter Beardsley in his own computer game? Yes, the toothless, £1.9 million pound superstar of Liverpool is starring in his own soccer game.
This soccer simulation has Peter playing in his international role for that brilliant (at losing) team, England, in the European Championships (bit late isn't it?). Don't worry, though, if you want to win you can play for countries like Albania and Holland. Just like the real Championships, there are two groups of four teams, with the first two in each going through to the semi-finals.
Once all the pre-match selections have been made, including the length of the match, it's time for the kick-off. The inlay states that the teams appear in their authentic colours, but I can't remember having seen England ever play in all yellow!
Once the whistle goes you're faced with badly-defined, flickery sprites staggering down a jerkily-scrolling pitch dribbling the ball with perfect control. In fact you can easily dribble the ball all the way up the pitch into the opponents' goal. Even the two player option and the 'Ere we go' tunes don't do much to improve such a tacky attempt at computer football. Long live Match Day II!
PHIL [24%]
THE ESSENTIALS
Joysticks: Cursor, Kempston, Sinclair
Graphics: ill-defined sprites on a jerkily-scrolling pitch
Sound: good medley of football anthems
Options: one or two players.
22 matchstick figures hobbling feebly around a vast expanse of jerkily-scrolling pitch seem intended as a sarcastic comment on England's recent performance. Certainly they didn't inspire any great terrace chants in the CRASH office. The players themselves didn't seem that impressed, either turning their backs, or wandering off in the opposite direction to the ball. The sound seems to be the best part of this game, with a nice tune warbling away to itself in both 48K and 128K modes. But if even football-mad Phil doesn't like this, I don't reckon it has much chance.
MARK [20%]
Presentation | 26% |
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Graphics | 22% |
Sound | 61% |
Playability | 24% |
Addictive Qualities | 20% |
Overall | 22% |
Grandslam
£8.95
Reviewer: Sean Kelly
No... I can't... it's too obvious... no... help! I've gotta resist.... I must... Er... I was over the moon, Brian, when I got this game... AARGH!! Sorry, it just slipped out soccer fans. Ah well, on with the review.
Peter Beardsley's International Football is obviously the latest footie (what did you expect - Origami?) simulation, from Grandslam. Following the Matchday rather than Football Manager game format, you choose your team from one of the eight international teams represented, and must then play your way through to the finals of the European Cup. First though, you have to play the other three teams in your group, whilst the computer simulates the other matches in both groups.
Depending upon which you choose, the duration of the match will be from five to twenty minutes. When play starts, you find yourself controlling, not the ball as such, but the player from your team who is nearest to the ball. You can move your player in eight directions (if you've a joystick that is) and 'kick' the ball in as many directions too. The strength of kick is determined by the length of time you hold the fire button down, before releasing it. And, er... that's it. Nothing else much to say, really, apart from the verdict.
Well, I've got to say it. This game plays about as well as England did in this year's European matches. It's a classic case of 'We've got the licence, let's knock a game up and get it on sale quick.' The game is a mediocre footie simulation, which relies more on luck than any amount of joystick juggling, and the most realistic aspect of it is that the teams change ends at half time. Passing is near impossible, because for most of the time your other team members are on the part of the pitch not on the screen.
'Scrolling' is a generous term to use for the movement of the screen, which has got more jerks than a Rick Astley concert. As for using your goalie to save, forget it. If one of the opposing players takes a shot at goal, by the time the scrolling has caught up with the shot and you can see your goalie, it is too late to get him into a position to save.
This might sound like I am overdoing the criticism a little, but I am only countering the information carried on the packaging. On the Spectrum box, it describes the 'large animated sprites, whistle happy referee, excitable commentator and a tuneful football anthem'. Doubtless these feature in the 16 bit versions, but to describe these features on the Spectrum packaging when they are not in the game is at best extremely misleading, and at worst downright porkies.
Compared with some of the similar footer simulations on the market, this game is primitive, and if you are looking for a good version of the ol' sport, look elsewhere.
Graphics | 4/10 |
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Playability | 4/10 |
Value For Money | 2/10 |
Addictiveness | 3/10 |
Overall | 3/10 |
Label: Grandslam
Author: In-house
Price: £7.95
Memory: 48K/128K
It's a funny old world. (I bet you thought I was going to say 'game' there). At first, action football games were wicked (Match Day) and managerial games were poo (Football Manager). Now, all of a sudden there are some wicked managerial games popping up (TSM, FD2). The action ones, with one or two notable exceptions, are getting crap and PBIF is no exception. It has to be, without a doubt, one of the worst arcade football games I have ever played.
You play in some international league thing either alone, or with a friend playing a different team, the ultimate aim being to become the Champion of Europe, or something like that.
Once you've chosen which team you want to be, and you've seen who else is in your group, you play the first of the 6 matches that will decide whether you get to go through to the next round.
The game is viewed side on, as are nearly all the footy games nowadays, except that this one is terrible. It seems small, skinny graphics are all the rage now, and as for the colourful passionate supporters? I've seen El Presidente show more passion than that. (Nonsense, I am a ruthless sadistic editing machine. I have no emotions. Now give me my pen back before I tell my Mum. - GT).
The scrolling is slow and jerky, and the animation of the players is terrible. How many players have you seen run while scratching their instep with their heel?
As normal, you control one man on the pitch at a time, signified by being a different colour to the rest of the team. The player is usually the one nearest to the ball. Controlling the ball is no problem. Just stand still and wait for it to hit you, then run headlong at the goal. You won't be tackled and the goalie will just step aside for you. As you can guess, the game is appallingly easy, if not just plain appalling.
PBIF is just one big disappointment. There is just so much missing. The goalie can't dive. You can't do sliding tackles, or even headers. You can't barge other players. YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING!!!
No thanks.
Graphics | 37% |
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Sound | 47% |
Playability | 42% |
Lastability | 24% |
Overall | 34% |
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