Cult Software
£2.99

You're a pure-bred player without a hint of leadership potential, 'totally at your manager's discretion as to whether you play or are dropped from the squad'.

Strange as it may seem for a simplistic-looking football manager game, Professional Footballer is multi-load. In the first part, you choose your position, nationality and the year - anything up to 9999 AD! After another load, the main menu is presents ten options, including Training, Manager's Office, Save Game, Fixtures and so on - the usual milarky.

Unfortunately, the only two features relevant to the game are Training and Go To Match. The others seem to be there just to look good on the menu and packaging; they merely allow you to view records and tables or make minor changes. Mind you, this does cut down on time between games: all you have to do is train twice then go to matchday.

This might be an asset if the training method and match weren't so peculiar. In training you're asked a football tactics question (eg, Free kick: what do you do?) and offered four possible answers. Unfortunately, none are necessarily correct. They have a percentage chance of being right next to them along with the number of stars awarded if you select the right answer. So, none of the answers are right but you need six stars to stay in the team. Oh dear.

My luck hasn't held out that long yet and I always manage to get relegated to the subs in my first game and the reserve subs in my second. The match is basically the same, only in-between the questions you get little reports on what's happening.

And that's just about it. Professional Footballer has the makings of a neat game, but as it stands it's unambitious with an infuriating training method.

Cult
£2.99 cass
Reviewer: Jonathan Davies

It must be a nightmare for D&H each time they have to come up with a new name for one of their football games. After all, once you've tried all the possible combinations of 'Soccer', 'Football', 'Boss', 'International' and 'Manager', where do you go next?

But it's certainly no nightmare for the lucky YS employee who gets to review the game. In fact I was all set to have a crack at their other two Cult budgie titles Stnker Manager and 2 Player Soccer Squad, but Andy wouldn't let me. (Liar. Ed)

The impressive list of features on the cassette inlay boasts 'Offside Trap', 'Coach', 'Caps' and, of course, 'much more', so, eager to get stuck in, I loaded the thing up. The game's all about being a footballer, rather than a manager, so the first step is to type in your name, your nationality and which position you'd like to play in. Out of sheer instinct I went for Defence, as it usually means you can hide down at one end of the pitch chatting to the goalie and hoping the ball doesn't come too near.

Once everything's set up the game proceeds, somewhat sluggishly, via the usual menus and lists of numbers. You start off as a substitute in the second team, and have to train yourself up to become captain of the first team and win cups and things. That means sitting through lots of matches (ie. textual descriptions of the games' progress) selecting things from menus and trying to work out what the hell's going on.

While football management can quite successfully be reduced to menus and lists of numbers, football playing is rather more action-based, and this tends to show in PFs slight lack of depth. And one also has to question D&H's wisdom in releasing these broadly similar football games (the others are of a very similar standard) when they might be better off pooling their resources into one or two really good ones.

THE YS FOOTBALL

Yes, it's Autumn, the time of year when people go out into the cold to play football. What a noble game it is, what with refs, subs and Desmond Lynam. We ordered JAMES LEACH to go and play four recent £3.99 releases from D&H Games. We also invited wacky TV footballing funsters, Saint and Greavsie to comment on the games (just to add that souppon of expert opinion).

Ah, now this another game where you actually play a footballer rather than a fatman with a cigar, a Jaguar and a sheepskin jacket. You have various skills and the idea is to hone them to perfection 'til you're picked for the team. Then, while the match is going on, you get possession and a question pops into the screen, like: "You're near to gaol. Do you a) head the ball, b) dribble or c) shoot?" You have a few seconds to decide, and if you got it right, all your team-mates will come up and kiss you. Mmmm!

The game is nicely programmed, and pretty slick-looking it is too. It's actually the best of the four, even though the graphics aren't completely wonderful. It's got a decent atmosphere, and it's good fun getting the skills of your boy up to strength. (Sorry? Ed)

Greavsie says: 'Ere, Saint. Can you lend me a tenner mate? I'm skint.

Saint says: Hem hem hem. Oh golly, Greavsie, you could just keep on telling fantastic jokes all night long, couldn't you?

Label: D+H Games
Memory: 48K/128K
Price: £3.99
Reviewer: John Denford

Have you got what it takes to become an international footballer? Will you rise from your humble beginnings to superstar status? Who knows? Who cares?

Professional Footballer covers a range of footballing features; training, transfers, international matches etc with matches comprising of a series of questions - correct answers gain stars and the more stars you have, the better footballer you become.

There are many problems with Professional Footballer. It doesn't cry or get into fights in toilets, but it does repeat on you giving the feeling that you're doing the same thing over and over.

The only game decisions that you make are percentile chance questions like - "You are in the 12 yard box? What do you do? Cross the ball (60%); Pass the ball back (70%); Dribble the ball (50%); or Dummy (55%)" What type of game is that? Not one that I'd buy.

Professional Footballer is a game with hardly any graphics, mainly text, no sound and no hope. It may appeal to a select few, but no-one else.

GARTH:
Management simulations appeal to a very special type of person, (like me!), but sadly this game doesn't keep my interest for any great length of time.