Sparklers
£1.99

Fancy a dirty time with a chimney, Sweep? just don't tell Sooty, he may Soo! This is set in France and it attempts a jaunty French air. There's French music, French graphics, even French... typography. Unluckily the result is a load of old Gallics.

Smudge is a dodgy dodging game complete with teeny characters that look like they originated back in '84. The idea is to steer clear of the nasties on the ground, then when you've parked your bike in the lay-by, don your jetpack and get into some aerial avoidance. There are two chimneys per screen, and once you've cleared those you have to skip back to the start and clean up at the Laundromat.

The programmers have thrown in everything but the kitchen sank, with shrinking energy, ticking time, rest periods, a teleport and, what's this? Well, it is the kitchen sink, but its too late to save Smudge. This game is so far from being grate I'd rather have a bad case of the flu.