Sooty & Sweep
by Andrew Swann, Peter Tattersall, Shaun G. McClure
Alternative Software Ltd
1990

Coming, erm, now actually, to a cinema near you...

THE COMPLETE YS GUIDE TO FILM AND TELLY GAMES

Knowing full well what a square-eyed bunch you are, we thought it was about time you were given the facts on film and television licenced games. Once again, JONATHAN DAVIES was in the wrong place at the wrong time.

(Cough. Deep, manly voice.)

'In the beginning there were loads and loads of Speccy games. Loads of them. They sold all right, but not exactly in enormous numbers. The trouble was, you see, that none of them seemed particularly exciting. They had nothing that caught the public eye. They were just computer games. Had no 'cred'.

Then a small cog within a long-since-extinct software house had an idea.

"Why don't we give our next game the same name as an incredibly popular film? Then everyone would buy it just because they'd seen the film and they'd foolishly think the game would be just as good. How about i, eh?"

"Er, we could do, I suppose."

"Great."

"But what if the film company finds out? They might sue us or something."

"Oh yeah."

"Tcha."

"I know - we could ask them first."

"That's a point. Go on then."

"What? Me?"

"Yeah. Give them a ring and ask if they'd mind."

"Oo-er. Cripes. Okay then." (Dials very long trans-Atlantic phone number.)

"Hullo. We'd like to name our new game after your film and we were wondering if it was okay by you. Right... yes... oh, I see." (Cups hand over receiver.) "They want us to give them lots of money."

"Erm, well in that case we'd better." (Removes hand.) "Yes, that'll be fine. We'll send you some right away. Bye."

"Super."

"But. er..."

"What?"

"How are we going to come up with a game that's anything like the film?"

"I don't know really."

"How about if we have a bloke walking around shooting people?"

"That sounds fine. I'll program it right away."

And so the film and telly licence was born. It... cough. Choke.

Oops. There goes the deep, manly voice.

Anyway, film and telly games, eh? Everyone's doing them these days, as they're one of the few remaining ways of making serious money with computer games. Run a grubby finger down the charts and you'll find nearly all the top-sellers are film and telly licences. (Or arcade conversions, of course.)

But why do we keep buying them? After all, just because a game's named after a really brill film doesn't mean it's going to be any good, does it? Surely we aren't buying them simply because of the flashy name on the box?

Erm, well in the old days, software houses assumed this to be the case, and chucked out a stream of absolutely appalling games with 'big name' titles. Things like Miami Vice, The Dukes Of Hazard and Highlander were all pretty dreadful, but it was hoped that they'd sell on the strength of their names. But we weren't fooled. Oh no. The games didn't sell well, and the companies were forced to think again.

Eventually they came up with... the 'bloke walking around shooting things' idea. And they've used it more or less ever since. Lucky then that they tend to be jolly good all the same, and sometimes come up with the odd original idea to spice things up (like The Untouchables did, or perhaps Back To The Future Part II).

RATINGS

As always seems to be the case, the trusty YS ratings system doesn't really seem adequate when it comes to film and telly games. So here's what we've put together instead...

LIGHTS
What does it look like? Nice? Or not very nice at all? (You mean are the graphics any good? Ed) Er, yes. That's it in a nutshell. (Then why didn't you just say the first place? Ed) Erm...

CAMERA
How does the general atmosphere compare to the film or telly programme the game's meant to go with? Have programmers just taken a bog-standard game and stuck a flashy name on it? Or have they made an effort to incorporate a bit of the 'feel' of the original?

ACTION
Does the plot follow along the same sort of lines as the film or telly programme? Is there plenty action-packedness? And is the game the same all way through, or does it follow the original's twists and turns?

CUT
Um, how does the game compare to all the licences around at the moment? Is it better? Or worse? In other words, is it a 'cut' above the rest? (is that really the best you can manage? Ed)

LICENCES ON THE CHEAP

A fiver doesn't buy much these days, but it's generally the most the budget houses can afford when it comes to licence purchasing. Cheapie film and telly games, therefore, tend to be a bit, er, obscure.

SOOTY AND SWEEP
Alternative

Here's another mystifyingly well-known program. But why make a game out of it? it was bound to end up as a walking-around-collecting-things game. Sweep's left his bones lying around all over the house and, rather than kicking his teeth in, Sooty decided to help him clear them all up. This means wandering round, picking up bones and trying to avoid all the creepie-crawlies that have sneaked in from the garden.

It's a dire idea, of course, and the only ray of hope is the two-player option where Sooty and Sweep are competing to collect the most bones. And calling it 'a game for younger players' is no excuse either.

---

REVIEW BY: Jonathan Davies

Blurb: WHAT'S A FILM AND TELLY GAME THEN? HMM? That's easy. It's a game for which the software house producing it has had to hand over a vast wad of money to a film or television company so they can call their game The Sound Of Music or Newsnight or whatever. Distinguishing features are, as you may have gathered, the name of a famous film or telly programme splashed across the box and a bloke who walks round shooting things. Apart from that, though, just about anything can happen in them. They might be shoot-'em-ups or collect-'em-ups. They might scroll or they might 'flip'. They might multiload or they might not. (They usually do though.) So they're not very hard to spot at all then, which makes writing this guide a whole lot easier.

Blurb: THE FIRST-EVER FILM AND TELLY GAME (Purses lips and inhales very slowly.) That's a tricky one. It ought to be pretty easy to pin down Film and Telly Game Number One, as they haven't been around for too long compared to other sorts of game. Well, I reckon (but don't quote me on this) it was Terrahawks from CRL, the game of the puppet programme. The thing is, though, I'm sure there was a Blue Thunder game floating around quite a long time before, but I can't find any references to it anywhere. So we'll stick with Terrahawks, eh? And, as was usually the case with these 'first-ever' games, it was pretty useless. There weren't actually any puppets in it for a start, just a whole bunch of 3D wire-frame building things which you had to explore (in a spaceship) in the hope of finding a vortex through which to exit. The 'Joystick Jury' (forerunners of today's Jugglers) weren't too impressed and gave it 2/5. Still, the pioneering spirit was there, and the game was a few months ahead of the first-ever film game - Activision's Ghostbusters. That was pretty hopeless as well, but did extraordinarily well.

Blurb: DIFFERENT SORTS OF FILM AND TELLY GAMES FILM GAMES These form the largest category by far. Just about every major film has a game to go with it, and as there are lots of films that means lots of games. What they're actually like tends to vary though. In some cases they're just ordinary beat-'em-ups or shoot-'em-ups with a very tenuous link with the film {generally just the name). Cobra and Highlander both went for this approach. Or they might be much the same sort of thing, but divided up into levels which are meant to refer to scenes from the film. Since most films are just beat-'em-ups and shoot-'em-ups anyway this tends to work pretty well, as with Robocop and Total Recall. Last of all are the games which are split up into completely different levels, like the early Bond efforts. There might be driving bits, walking bits and puzzle-solving bits, and they're usually pretty faithful to segments in the film. They do tend to pay a heavy price in terms of quality though (so be careful). (Er, the obligatory warehouse level in Beverly Hills Cop.) CARTOON GAMES Moving into television territory here, and these are generally the most popular telly games, especially on budget labels (witness Hong Kong Phooey, Count Duckula, all that sort of thing). The licences are probably pretty cheap to acquire, especially if the cartoon hasn't been on for about 20 years, and they're a doddle to convert to the computer. Cartoony graphics are about the easiest to pull off successfully on the Speccy, so they always look good. What you get under the surface though tends to be a very ordinary beat-'em-up or arcade adventure. (Hong Kong Phooey, faster than the human eye! (Sort of.)) QUIZ GAMES Another popular category, this, as television game shows are just begging to be computerised. They're mainly just a case of answering silly questions and filling in spaces on a scoreboard (or something), both things the Speccy is ideally suited to. There's usually the odd digitised piccy of your 'host' thrown in for luck, and lots of irritating tunes from the telly programme. Whether they're any good or not is very much a matter of opinion. The programming's usually well up to scratch, and they're always faithful replicas of the telly versions. But, as TV game shows are utter dross, the games tend to be too. Check out Sporting Triangles and Bob's Full House (if you must). (Sporting Triangles - er, a bit of a boring game really.) OTHER TELLY GAMES There are all sorts of things left over, of course. There are the Gerry Anderson puppet programmes, which have formed the basis of the odd decent game. There are crusty old series like Flash Gordon. There are modern(ish) American programmes like Knight Rider and Miami Vice which haven't proved too successful on the Spectrum. There are 'cult' programmes like The Munsters and Monty Python. There are kiddies' shows like Postman Pat. All sorts of things really. (And here's Sooty And Sweep.(No, it isn't.) Yes. It is. (Etc.))

Blurb: SO YOU WANT TO WRITE A FILM AND TELLY GAME? Here's a list of essential ingredients to incorporate... - A bloke walking around shooting things. - Er... - That's it.

Blurb: AS NEAR AS DAMMIT EVERY FILM AND TELLY GAME EVER 3-2-1 - Microcomputer Airwolf - Elite Alien - Mindgames Aliens - Electric Dreams Aliens - US Electric Dreams Attack Of The Killer Tomatoes - Global A View To A Kill - Domark Back To The Future Part II - image Works Basil The Great Mouse Detective - Gremlin Batman - Ocean Batman The Caped Crusader - Ocean Batman The Movie - Ocean Battle Of The Planets - Mikro-Gen Benny Hill's Madcap Chase - Dk'Tronics Biggies - Mirrorsoft Big Trouble in Little China - Electric Dreams Blade Runner - CRL Blockbusters TV - Games Blue Max - US Gold Bob's Full House - TV Games Bruce Lee - US Gold Buck Rogers - US Gold Cobra - Ocean Count Duckula - Alternative Danger Mouse in Double Trouble - Sparklers Danger Mouse in Making Whoopee - Sparklers Death Wish III - Gremlin Dukes Of Hazard, The - Elite Eastenders - Tynesoft Empire Strikes Back, The - Domark Flash Gordon - MAD Flintstones - Grandslam Ghostbusters - Activision Ghostbusters II - Activision Gilbert - Escape From Drill - Again Again Give My Regards To Broad Street - Argus Press Software Goonies, The - US Gold Highlander - Ocean Hong Kong Phooey - Hi-Tec Howard The Duck - Activision Indiana Jones And The Last Crusade - US Gold Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom - US Gold Inspector Gadget - Melbourne House Knightmare - Activision Knight Rider - Ocean Krypton Factor - TV Games Licence To Kill - Domark Live And Let Die - Domark Living Daylights, The - Domark Max Headroom - Quicksilva Masters Of The Universe - Gremlin Miami Vice - Ocean Mickey Mouse - Gremlin Mike Read's Computer Pop Quiz - Elite Minder - Dk'Tronics Monty Python's Flying Circus - Virgin Moonwalker - US Gold Munsters, The - Again Again NeverEnding Story, The - Ocean Nightbreed, The - Ocean Orm And Cheep - The Birthday Party - Macmillan Pink Panther - Gremlin Platoon - Ocean Popeye - DkTronics Postman Pat - Alternative Postman Pat II - Alternative Predator - Activision Rambo - Ocean Rambo III - Ocean Real Ghostbusters, The - Activision Red Heat - Ocean Return Of The Jedi - Domark Road Runner - US Gold Robocop - Ocean Roland's Rat Race - Ocean Scooby Doo - Elite Short Circuit - Ocean Sooty And Sweep - Alternative Spitting image - Domark Sporting Triangles - CDS Spy Who Loved Me, The - Domark Star Wars - Domark Street Hawk - Ocean Tarzan - Martech Terrahawks - CRL Thunderbirds - Firebird Thunderbirds - Grandslam Thundercats - Elite Top Gun - Ocean Total Recall - Ocean Untouchables, The - Ocean Yabba Dabba Doo - Quicksilva Yes Prime Minister - Mosaic Yogi Bear - Piranha Yogi's Great Escape - Hi-Tec Young Ones, The - Orpheus Zorro - US Gold

Blurb: TOP FIVE CINEMA ADS 1) The Butterkist one (ra-ra-ra). 2) The Kia Ora one. 3) The really crap one for the local tile centre. 4) The Sunshine Coaches one. 5) The insurance one with the crummy jingle.

Blurb: TOP TEN ANNOYING THINGS THAT PEOPLE DO IN CINEMAS 1. Singing along to the Kia Ora advert (and doing the 'I'll be your dog' bit). 2. Sitting on the seat in front of you, making it fold down and squash your feet. 3. Snogging. 4. Eating sweets with noisy wrappers. 5. Giggling all the way through. 6. Asking you to stop giggling. 7. Passing you sweets every five seconds. 8. Telling you what happens next. 9. Trying to suck up the last drop of drink with a straw. 10. Getting up and leaving at the split-picosecond the film finishes, having spent the last five minutes putting on their coat and stuffing all their litter under the seat.