Zeppelin Games
£2.99

Yeeeha! Step into the world of the wild west: the world of ring dinging, cow hustling, and bucket spitting! It's all here in Spaghetti Western Simulator. You control a bounty hunter, tracking down criminals on the Wanted signs, making a living shooting people in the back and collecting the rewards. But beware: innocent people are out there as well as rootin' tootin' criminals and killing them costs you money!

The game is a little too slow: the screen scrolls along at a snail's pace, but the action is all fast moving! Graphics are sparse at first but as you get further in you discover well drawn houses, criminals and the odd dame to avoid shooting. It's a pity Clint Westwood, the main character, seems to be invisible - move him over a background aid his graphics assume the same colours. This obviously avoids colour clash but doesn't help playability. The only sound is the odd 'purling' when you tire a bullet. A tune would have been nice - you'll just have to stick the latest Depeche Mode single on to keep your ears happy!

A fun game when you get the hang of the controls: the action is fast and furious, but you may get fed up of being blown outta dat dere county (to be said with a wild west accent)!

RICH PELLEY dons his washing-up gloves and prepares to take on those oh-so-murky depths of...

BARGAIN BASEMENT

Zeppelin Games
£2.99
Reviewer: Rich Pelley

And I quote. "The mere mention of your name makes even the most hardened desperados shake in their boots". Golly! No. not your name, silly, because let's face facts, it's highly unlikely that any tobacco-chewin' critter out in the old Wild West will have actually heard of you. Oh, unless you live there of course. Nope, the name which makes even the most hardened desperados shake in their boots drone drone etc is...'Clint Westbound. (Yes, I know - rather makes a mockery of the whole proceedings, doesn't it?)

Anyway, our Clint, the chump, has volunteered to single-handedly take-out all the bad guys who've been making the Wild West a little less 'wild' than it should be (which basically means a perfectly nice and respectable place to live really). And how pray, is he supposed to do this? By trundling along a horizontally-jerking screen (with rather shoddy graphics) on the lookout for baddies cunningly hiding behind doors and windows, and then shooting them (it's a case of can you shoot them before they shoot you?' here, readers). Objects will also find themselves hurtling toward your head (avoid), and along the ground towards your feet (pick them up for extra ammo, to blow things up etc).

And, erm, well, that's it really. A bit of a duffer. I'm afraid, because although it's playable to begin with, it gets extremely boring rather too quickly. Snooze.

Label: Zeppelin
Price: £2.99
Reviewer: Chris Jenkins

Buenos noches! Si. It ees i, Manuel Fernando Roderigo Santalucia Caramba Maracas - known as The Weevil - the beegest, baddest bandeet een Mehico! Ccchhobviously, eet ees I who was the obvious choice to review thees Spaghetti Western Simulator - ho yess, hi was een them all. Return hof a Man Called Greengo; Three Men, a Cchhorse and a Bucket; The Very Beeg Shoot-out; han' my best role, as the knitting bankrobber in The Hombre Weeth No Saddle.

Een the movies, eet ees roff an' toff; bounty hunter rides into town, we bandidos line up in the street, he shoots us all, end of film. But Santa Maria, thees game, eet is not like real life at all! Leesten, compadres; thees bountyhunter, Cleent Westband, he walk like a pregnant goat, left an' right, up an' down the screen; an' when he goes for hees gonn, hees quick-draw ees as slow as a fat farmer doin' the Mehican Hat Dance. An' he has to holster hees gon before he can walk on, wheech ees foolish.

Ccchhhokay, ees some nice details een the backgroun'; houses, adobe walls, shutters, doorways; bot what ees theees flyin' out of nowhere? Knives, bottles, dynamite, horseshoes, arrows; where they com from? Cleent, he shoot some, duck som, but they follow heem aroun' the screen, so they heet heem wherever he go! Ees bad enoff that he have to shoot diagonal-wise at gonmen een the weendows, an' avoid losin'dollars through shootin' innocent bystanders; bot thees theengs flyeen' thro' the air, ees jost too much.

Ol' Cleent, he got no chance onless he peeck up objects from the sidewalk. He have to squat down an peeck op dynamite to blow op bad guys, money bags to increase hees bounty, bulleets to feel hees ammo belt, armoured jacket to protect heem, all thees I onderstand - but what are thees crucifixes, potions and honeypots? I no beleev it! Cleent have to fight off Smiley Ghosts, Scorpions an' Hornets? Ees jost seelly! Do you theenk the Man Weeth No Name would get eento a gon-fight with Smiley the Cuddly Pacman? Hi don't theenk so!

Ees all a beeg disappointment for a simple bandido. Could have been a good game, bot no, gringo programmers make eet too deeficult to control, an' put too many seely theengs een eet. Thees makes me sad. Hi theenk hi go down to the Las' Chance Saloon an' peeck a fight weeth some sheepfarmers.

Zeppelin Games
Spectrum/Amstrad £2.99

Spaghetti Western Simulator? Yes, only this time The Man With No Name has got one - Clint Westband (groan!). Your general aim is blast away all the bandits in the five horizontally scrolling townships and yet being careful not to shoot the good guys (just like the real thing!)

As a "simulator", this completely fails. Where's the suspect drubbing? Where's the one-on-one high noon shoot outs with Lee Van Cleef? Where's the playability? Let's hope that Zeppelin Games haven't taken up the Code Masters "simulator" habit with further games of similar quality.