Starburst
by Jim Gardner
Unknown

Oh no! just when you thought it was safe to open YS again it's the return of those Teenage Mutant Hero Flesh-Eating Killer YS Readers' Games from far, far away in... (gulp)

SON OF CRAP GAME CORNER

Since we made the tragic mistake of running the original Crap Game Corner a couple of issues back, mail has been flooding in by the sackful.* So the good news is that (hurrah!) we've decided to do another one. But the bad news? Well, we all know who was responsible for that last paltry effort, don't we? Hmm. And hard as we tried we just couldn't get rid of him this time round either. Yep, you guessed it, it's that darn RICH PELLEY child again.

*Well, one economy size sack really.

Hello, readers, and welcome to this, my second feeble attempt at Crap Game Corner. In case you were fortunate enough not to have seen the previous one then listen carefully and I'll explain what it's all about. Basically, it's the bit in mag where you, the beloved reader, writes a game, sends it in and then we have a good old slag at it because, sure as eggs is eggs, it'll be, erm, crap thence the 'Crap Game' bit). Brill or what?

However, I think you should be warned that your measly offerings this issue aren't as bad as they were last time - they're worse. So depressingly bad, in fact, that the only (printable) word that I can possibly think of to describe them all is (yep, you guessed it) 'crap'. Crap, crap. crap. Crap crap crap. Crapity crapity cr... (I think we get the idea. Ed) Ahem.

STARBURST
By James Gardner

Starburst? Sounds like one of those 'quasi-scientific' words we advised as a name in our brillo YS Guide To Shoot-Em-Ups a while back. Which is quite uncanny, really, 'cos Starburst is a shoot-'em-up, following the usual formula right the way through. No plot worth speaking of, no animation worth speaking of, no sound worth speaking of. Yup, simplicity is the name of the game but with one redeeming feature - it's vaguely good. Too good to be in Crap Game Corner almost (but not quite, or it wouldn't be here, would it?).

Even though at first glance it may look suspiciously like your average vertically-scrolling shoot-em-up (it is), as one progresses many a delight is uncovered. There's scrolling, full-colour backgrounds (with nary a hint of colour clash) and a pretty spanky add-on weapon system where you don't lose everything along with that life. And, best of all it is, verily, playable. I almost played it twice.

Luckily, though, I've still managed to find a few niggles to complain about. The sound is chronic (although we are assured that it'll be improved), and there are too few levels (just as you get hooked you're out of the game) but, on the whole, it's not really too bad. Too good to earn a slagging-off, that's for sure. Damn.

I ask you - was that wicked, cool, fab, ace, happenin', hip, trendy and generally quite good or what? Well, I had a laff anyway. But don't go away thinking that's the end of it all - oh ho no, not by a long way, matey. We will return in Crap Game Corner III - the trequel (ie the sequel to the sequel to the original, if you see what I mean). Oh, providing you people out there send send in some crap games, that is. So don't just sit there, whip out your pinkies and get tapping - then send your efforts here to me (that's Rich Pelley, of course) at the Crap Game Corner, Your Sinclair, 30 Monmouth Street, Bath BA1 2AP for my perusal. Okay? Good. And, well, erm, bye!

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REVIEW BY: Rich Pelley

Blurb: AND THE SCORES AT THE END OF THAT ROUND... Just to add that professional touch, I've cunningly devised a stunningly brilliant scoring system (with a little help from everyone else in the office, that is) to use exclusively for this occasion. So, er, here it is... Technical Ingenuity How well is everything 'done'? If it's full of nice graphics, kooky sound and natty routines then it'll get a high mark. If it's not then it, erm, won't. Achievement This gives some idea of how well whatever was set out to be done in the first place has actually been carried out and done, if you see what I mean. Fun How fun is the game to play?. (Obvious, really.) Crap Factor Okay, so it's crap. But by exactly how much? Three feet deep and rising? Or just enough spread to slap on your bread? Overall Add up the four marks, divide the answer by four and what you get will bear no relation whatsoever to this overall mark (ho ho). Y'see, this bit gives a sort of idea of how well the game would sell if it was released 'properly' to the general public (ie you). So don't be surprised if you get a pifflingly low mark even if I did think your game was a jolly good 'wheeze'.