Author: David Bark
Producer: C.C.S.
Retail Price: £5.95

Blue Riband after The Prince is going from the sublime to the ridiculous. In the game you have to pilot a large sea ferry around a number of islands in the shortest possible time without getting sunk. To assist you, you have radar, engine-room telegraph and wheel. Sounds tedious? It is.

As I drove into my day job (even we famous journalists have day jobs - hyperactive Derek Brewster's got about eight!) the other day, my motorbike and I parted company on the rear wing of a black Cadillac limosine (this bit's not entirely true - it was an Austin Allegro really) which I could have sworn was being driven by one of the Argus heavies - or was it someone from Domark? Anyway, your heroic correspondent flew through the air for some distance, crash landed on a cat's eye and only narrowly missed death at the hands of at least 34 juggernauts. Meanwhile my bike was elsewhere, battered and bent. Shaken, but not stirred, I crawled over to the side of the road and duly collapsed. I awoke in hospital with the thought that I had only another twelve hours to meet the CRASH deadline, so you'll have to forgive me if some of these reviews are a little less thoughtful and caring than usual; but you know how it is - better read than dead.

NOT THE BELGRANO

MAKER: CCS
FORMAT: cassette
PRICE: £5.95

A strategic simulation in which you captain a ferry boat round a group of islands, docking at each. There are three displays; bridge controls with engine telegraph and wheel, plus the radar which is used to make final approaches; a chart of the whole area with the ship's position; and static islands maps on which you can study the upcoming problems.

You set your speed and course, then move to the chart to track your progress using a hurry-up mode for open-sea passages until your near an island, then back to the radar. The islands vary in difficulty, a couple having long narrow, rock-strewn channels.

The ship simulation is very complex with problems like transverse thrust effect when reversing and helm induced yawing oscillation if you over-correct. The game requires a very delicate touch, especially when docking, and if, like me, you have trouble with left and right, let alone port and starboard, you'll find yourself racking up damage points in very short order. Impressive, if not my cup of grog.