Review by Raphie on 03 Sep 2013 (Rating: 1)
And now as promised, a re-review! Yes this one I initially reviewed, a term I use loosely by the way, to coincide with London 2012, and it was half-assed like 95% of my reviews, which sometimes is the way to go. But after looking at its spiritual sequel Alpine Games I felt this needed a detailed look, since it’s almost exactly the same, five events with funny controls and a horrible outcome. The concept is exactly the same, three lives at the start, failing to qualify costs you one life and loss of all three is game over...let’s begin shall we?
Weightlifting – Use key Q to stop the power meter in alignment with the arrow. Lift the weights until qualification level of 54kg is reached. Right so rather than a test of strength weightlifting has suddenly become a test of accuracy and luck! Basically there is a power circle that looks more like a clock, you need to stop the meter at the arrow at 12 o’clock to lift the weight...and this is weightlifting apparently. And should you fail once your turn is over...and then you get a plane flying over you with a banner reading “RUBBISH!”...which is highly accurate for this game...actually now that I mention that, why are we outdoors for weightlifting anyway?
Canoeing – Use keys O Left/P Right to steer the canoe through the rapids. To qualify, pass the distance marked by the meter. So this works a little bit like Horace Goes Skiing except on water and on a canoe instead of skis. You have to avoid the rocks in the water and reach the goal...sounds simple right? Well it is quite simple and actually can be a little challenging, it's also quite tedious but you know it has logic for once, you don't have to worry about the speed or anything, just move. Yes this one works.
200m Sprint – To increase your speed, hit the Q key each time the meter aligns with the arrow...what? Reach the qualifying time of 23 seconds to qualify. So sprinting is conducted with that blooming clock meter and one button in time with an arrow...brilliant! And even when you’re level with the arrow the speed won’t go up at all. You have to press it a fraction outside for it to "properly" read. Flip me! This is even worse than the Alpine Games controls, at least that had a bit of logic of using two keys at a “rhythm”, here it’s blooming one key and you have to align the meter with an arrow! And they say Kinect’s controls are bad, it’s got nothing on this I’ll tell you.
Shooting – Keys Q, A, O, P = Move sights Space = Fire. Shoot down as many Skeet as possible. You must reach pass mark to qualify...not if you have more than one life you silly! You can fail and still advance! Flip, anyways...you have to hit up to 12 skeet in 12 bullets, this is an absolute nightmare! The cursor doesn’t stop flickering and really puts you off...well me I thi oh forget it! Also you can get the position right but you need to be at a certain height to hit it, otherwise you’ll just miss like I do 96% of the time. But in essence at least this works, rather than a clock meter with an arrow below to load the gun and at the top to fire...imagine the thought.
Discus – Use key Q to set the power and A to set the angle of your throw. The qualification distance must be reached. Yes you have power and angle, which can only mean one thing...yep, you have TWO bloody clock meters!! And you must get the meter in 12 o’clock of both otherwise you will fail...and that plane returns with the most accurate description of this game...which you will know already.
So to summarise...ugh! This is undoubtedly one of the absolute worst Olympic games on the planet and a million times worse than Alpine Games, which I am now prepared to call a dramatic improvement and the Alpine Champion of the World...good grief!
And now for the exact same review again translation into a single word – RUBBISH!
by Barry Jones
Barry Jones is the Ed Wood of Spectrum games programming, enthusiastically creative and prolific
as much as inescapably amateurish and disastrous, or this is how I imagine he was - which makes it
a very likeable character, but which doesn't make his games much more playable...
1,25/5
